In Which I Predict Jessica Simpson’s First ‘Post-Baby Interview’ With Katie Couric

Jessica SimpsonJessica Simpson has been suspiciously quiet since she gave birth to Maxwell Drew Johnson — not that I’m complaining. Any slow downs in the masterful mommy brand that is the future of Simpson’s career are to be met with no grumblings by me. But Katie Couric apparently wants to keep us up to speed on Jessica’s foray into motherhood, hence why she has invited Maxwell’s mother to appear on the premiere of of her new show Katie. Do you think she’ll ask about Papa Simpson’s DUI?

On the September 10th agenda is, of course, the normal trifecta of celebrity mother talking points. You know the PR script as well as I do. Jessica is apparently going to be gushing about new mommyhood in all it’s one-dimensional, tagline glory, how she she is shedding the pounds (courtesy of Weight Watchers, of course), and how she is tackling “work life balance.”

Together, you and I could predict this interview line by line. It’s always just a few lines from column A, another one from column B, and then some artificial giggles about DIY mothering while we completely evade the literal team of people keeping this new mother afloat. At the same time, the fluffy interview is supposed to position Jessica as a relatable first-time mother who all moms will identify with and therefore throw their dollar bills at as they purchase pounds of Simpson product.

So let’s have at the celebrity exercise together and if I’m wrong, I’ll be happy to eat cake! Please share your own interview predictions in the comments.

(photo: PNP/

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  • Moira

    Why does everyone in this site hate Jessica Simpson?

  • ali

    She is no different than any other celebrity mom. What about Jessica Alba and her company? All celeb moms love to say how wonderful and magical mommyhood is, never a bad day. It’s unrealistic and if we all realize that maybe we should start ignoring it.

    • Andrea

      I can see why, unfortunately. If they ever say a bad thing about motherhood, they would be attacked as not loving their children, people would say what right do they have to complain when they can afford nannies and housekeepers, etc.

  • wjr

    My prediction is, having failed to lose the required amount of weight to hang onto her weight watcher’s contract, Jessica will announce a second pregnancy. She will lie and say she lost a lot of weight on the plan, but got pregnant as a way to save face and go back to eating with abandon…oops, I mean she had to quit because of the “surprise” pregnancy.

    The rest of the ‘interview’ will be an infomercial for the wiglets and other stuff she pretends to design.

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