STFU Parents: 5 Reasons Parents MommyJack Their Friends About Their Jobs

4. Moms Have No Sympathy

If you were a parent, you’d never make a joke about falling asleep at your desk! Parents laugh in the face of sleepiness; they don’t let it get them down. They don’t give in to yawns! Heck no! If Pink had children, she wouldn’t even worry about falling asleep at her desk because that being tired is simply child’s play. 

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  • Afraidtoshootlemons

    Being a mom is not an “Accomplishment”. It is a natural function.

    • ipsedixit

      Exactly. It’s a job you gave yourself. You don’t get to play martyr.

    • Frances Bean

      Agreed. I had a book published last year and you wouldn’t believe how many people tried to downplay my accomplishment by saying something about me being a ‘mommy’. Like nothing I ever do will matter because my primary function is mother unit.

  • Erin Johnston

    Number 5 made me want to punch that guy in the face. I just recently became a mom, but my job has allowed me to be all of those things to many people for many years. I kind of want to find that guy and give him a piece of my mind. What an awful thing to say.

  • Leah

    Oh, I never hear parents complain about a lack of sleep and hoping they make it through the day. Never happens.

  • kate

    i often have inside head thoughts about tired non-parents, i cant help it, it just happens. but i never ever mention it on facebook. B. can take part of the credit for that ;)

    • STFUParents

      If it makes you feel any better, I often think the opposite. “How do parents do it??”

      It’s probably better that you don’t mention it on Facebook, though. :)

    • kate

      thanks ;) and thank you B. and Julie! I said it was an inside head thought Ipsedixit. Are we living 1984?? (the book, not the year). And i never said it was rational or kind, which is why its not on facebook!

    • Ipsedixit

      Because the only people who could *possibly* be tired are parents, amiright? Give me a break. If you have time to sit around on Facebook and try to validate your existence on someone else’s wall, then you have too much time on your hands.

    • STFUParents

      Damn, I didn’t get that vibe at all. Simmer down.

    • Xyzzy

      Well, she does say “I often have inside-head thoughts about tired non-parents” and mentions your blog posts displaying parents that make “you don’t know tired until you’ve had kids” type comments. :-/

      It’s good to not parentjack tired Facebook contacts, of course… I’m just thinking that adding “but I never *say* it” (however indirectly) in front of or behind an offensive statement doesn’t make it a nicer sentiment to have or more “lol” worthy.

    • Tinyfaeri

      I somehow doubt you’ve never had a less-than-nice thought – if you say you haven’t, you’re lying to someone. The only difference between Kate and anyone that has commented on her comment is that she made the mistake of admitting it on the internet.

    • Julie

      Pretty sure she said she *doesn’t* post it on Facebook. She’s allowed to think it. Who are you? The thought police?

    • Xyzzy

      Similar thought here… Even if someone doesn’t publicly state that they’re rolling their eyes on any non-parents complaining about their difficulties, doesn’t mean that they’re not still passing that judgment. Trying to one-up someone’s post is obnoxious as it is, but tossing “I never say it, but I think…” in front of an offensive belief doesn’t make the belief itself less problematic.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Pretty sure that makes you completely normal. It’s the posting about it on Facebook part that makes the people highlighted by B asshats.
      And, really, I credit B for helping to shape my parenting philosophy rather a lot. :)

  • goofyjj

    look at me! look at me! I’m a mom!!!! hey – how come you’re not paying attention to me!

  • Dot

    Michael wins the Lifetime Achievement Award for being a dick on social media.

  • Sara Abbott

    The thing that irks me about parents nagging their friends/relatives/strangers about “sleepless nights” and “you don’t know hard work until you’ve become a mommy!” and “I never get a break” is the fact that THEY CHOSE TO HAVE KIDS. And, according to most of them, it’s the greatest blessing in the world. Well, my job is not the greatest thing in the world and it’s not something I happily chose to do; it’s something I have to do if I want to survive because, you know, I have to eat and whatnot. It’s shouldn’t even be comparable…

    I understand parenthood is hard. That’s why I’m choosing not to do it because it’s not the sort of responsibility I feel I’d be good at. Hell, I don’t even mind parents complaining about how tough it is. But when I’m tired because I’ve been up twenty-four hours working at a shitty job that pays just enough for me to get by, then I have the right to be tired, dammit. Leave me be.

    • Fluffy_1

      I couldn’t agree more. I also have the added “bonus” of occasional insomnia which means I sometimes struggle into work after a sleepless night. Babies will eventually grow out of keeping their parents awake at night; sadly, insomnia doesn’t. After a day spent filling myself with caffine in order to stay comatose behind my petrol station till, if any mombie said to me, “Teehee! You don’t know what exhaustion is like til you’ve had babies!”, there will be a smackdown of epic proportions. -.-

    • Frances Bean

      This. I have really bad bouts of insomnia brought on by PTSD from childhood and it is so much worse than what I went through when my kids were infants. There are days when I’m up for 48 hours or more, no baby ever kept me up that long.

    • Sheesh

      And then they get pissed at you when you choose not to have kids on their schedule. That part is the worst!

  • McRose

    I feel like after three deployments to Iraq I could one-up the mommyjackers (“yeah? It must be so nice to be able to make popsicle stick birdhouses without worrying about rocket attacks!”) but I just don’t have it in me.

    • aoirghe

      I’ve been soldier-jacked on Facebook. It’s just as irritating as mommyjacking, believe me.

    • Laura Eddings Parry

      Definitely as irritating as mommyjacking if not more.

    • Laura Eddings Parry

      In fact, someone should start a servicemember-jacking website.

    • goddess

      I think those are called ‘massage’ parlors and most of them are illegal ;)

    • Amy Komon Carpenter

      I think I just ruined my keyboard with the Dr. Pepper that came out my nose. Thanks for that :)

    • Jessi Bencloski

      I’ve never encountered a form of [noun]jacking I found pleasant.

    • aoirghe

      Oh, absolutely. I was just responding to the potential soldier-jacking the above poster mentioned. But way to I-hate-status-jacking-jack my reply, jeez! ;)

    • Bran Chesterton

      I am a terrible person. I got so fed up with Mommyjacking that I’ve started Catjacking when I see a chronic posting mom’s FB status update that I can POSSIBLY relate to my cats.

      Example – Them: Emelia is SO ADORABLE when she cries for her bottle! I can’t even wait two seconds before picking her up!!!
      Me: omg I KNOW!!! :D When I get home and Spike starts meowing at me for his wet food, I can barely feed him fast enough before I want to snuggle him so hard :)

      It makes everyone uncomfortable. Win-win!

    • Desilu

      Seriously! And everyone knows, when you work from home, your cat is your boss. (Like I’d ever take orders from some kid)

    • The Curiosity

      Bran, you are the best! Don’t ever change!

    • Anna K. Perry

      soldier-jacking! ha! i love that. i could do that, but i don’t because, yes, it’s ANNOYING.

    • Lawcat

      In the hierarchy of jackings, I give a lot more leeway to someone who has been to war than someone who decided to procreate. If most everyone else on the planet is capable of doing what you’re doing, it’s not that special.

  • mimz

    what about the parents who brag about what they got there kids like oh that ipad was so expensive but anythin to make lil whatever happy! its like ok just say yeh i bought my kid and ipad your so fucking awesome.shut up already!

    • Frances Bean

      That makes me want to pull my hair out!

  • ellemck1

    I’d unfriend and then go punch Michael if he was my friend and said that to me. Not cool man.

  • Natalie

    My ultimate comeback for “wait til you have a baby”? “I can never have children.”

    And thank the gods I can’t.

    • Mew Mew

      I want to use that after I can get sterilized. I just won’t tell them I can’t by choice. Heh.

    • AJ Crowley

      That’s what I do! They don’t need to know my inability to have kids is self-imposed. And it might teach them a lesson about assuming that everyone wants/is able to have kids.

  • Anonymous

    The 5 kids comment on Page 2 really pissed me off. If you don’t have enough money to support 5 kids, stop fucking having kids.

  • Jessica

    I am a Mom and I have a job. I actually HATE being mommyjacked by friends and family. When I bitch about my JOB I mean the one that pays, I would never in this lifetime consider my son my boss. HAH! I lose lots of sleep, I also drink lots of coffee. I really feel that some women have kids just to bitch about it. I NEVER complain about any of it or influence anyone I know to try a day in my shoes. Soooooooo ANNOYING! I really HATE hearing how people are like, “Oh I cleaned my house today, and I cooked dinner, and wah wah wah.!” I am like piss off I did that and worked 8+ hours. I enjoy cleaning my home and being with my son. It is not work, not EVEN close.

  • Jill

    I think the sleepless night comment was directed at the “worst night sleep” rather than the struggle to stay awake, as in it’s even worse once you have a little demanding person keeping you up, rather than asserting that moms don’t get tired.

  • AWB

    this is the stuff I don’t get…”bragging” or trying to “one-up” something negative…I have a 2 month old and last night she slept for 8 hours straight…so did I. I’m pretty sure that’s more than the average working person sleeps each night. What’s with all the complaints about “never getting sleep again”??

  • Leigha7

    Am I the only one that felt like Michael’s comment sort of implied adoptive parents don’t count?

  • Edify

    As a fellow life time insomnia sufferer (and proud owner of a crap job and also a kid) way to insomnia-jack!

    It doesn’t matter what it is making you tired, I’ve always wondered if elements of human interaction is about finding ways to “out tired” someone.

  • Nicola Warner

    Number 4 is the one that really gets me riled up!! It’s SO condescending. ‘Ah bless, you think you’re tired, isn’t that sweet? You don’t know what tired is luv because you haven’t now got to get up and soldier on running around after babies and toddlers. Kindly never post about being tired again until you become a MUMMY’. Because non-parents couldn’t possibly be tired because.. oh I dunno… they’ve got raging insomnia and have to commute to a job where their boss breathes down their neck every day while they work themselves ragged. And then do it all again next day… No, you can only be tired if you’re a mummy! >:(