Oh Honey Boo Boo! I really hope Glitzy the maybe-gay-pig-because-it-can-if-it-want-to-you-can’t-tell-a-pig-what-to-do helps you win pageants! Glitzy is adorable, you are adorable, and you seem to be taking really good care of Glitzy, even though poor mama June is the one waking up at five to feed him. Here is a clip from tonight’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, where you can watch Glitzy being fancy and waking up far too early.

I hope parents aren’t letting their own little consumers of go-go juice watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Because if your kids are watching, not only will they be begging for cheeezeballs for breakfast, but also for their own little Glitzy pig they can dress up in bejeweled crowns and have sleep in a playpen next to their bed.

Yvonne McIntosh, and expert on these teacup pigs, says this about the animals:

“You can call them ‘teacup,’ ‘mini,’ ‘micro,’ or ‘thimble,’ but the truth is the supposedly tiny pigs do not exist,” says McIntosh who manages Piggy Paradise at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary. “People who think they are buying a pig that stays small are being fooled. Unscrupulous breeders are breeding pigs less than a year old, and by the time the litter is born, the parents still are only about eight months old and far below their full size.

McIntosh says it takes four to five years for pigs to reach full growth. “The breeders tell folks that the piglets will be no bigger than the parents, but the buyer doesn’t realize the parent pigs are nowhere near full-grown themselves.  Unfortunately, most people believe these breeders/sellers and do not educate themselves before they buy the pigs.

When the novelty wears off, when the pig reaches 150 to 300 pounds instead of the 40 pounds it was supposed to be, or when people find out their local zoning doesn’t allow pigs, there is no place for them to go and they become homeless. “

I get it. Glitzy is adorable. The idea of tiny pigs are adorable. But the reality of having a three hundred pound animal that roots up your Brazilian walnut floors and defecates in your living room is less-than adorable. I have sympathy for mama June having to wake at 5 A.M . to give Glitzy his breakfast. I’m an animal lover, and I’m raising my kids to be the same way, but as far as pets are concerned, parents need to be aware that until a child is at least ten (or in a lot of cases, older) when a family adopts a pet, the bulk of the pet care is the responsibility of the parent. You don’t adopt a dog for a 6-year-old thinking that the child will be able to feed, walk and clean up after the pet by themselves. Why should a pet pig be any different? Now I’m having the awful thought that if Glitzy’s sparkle wears off and Honey Boo Boo gets sick of him, Glitzy may end up on the breakfast table. Along with a big bowl of cheeezeballs.

There is also a fake Glitzy twitter here. And it’s fake, because pigs cannot type.

(Photo: The Learning Channel)