My fiancĂ© runs a charity golf tournament every summer in Mexico. I will be tagging along, not to golf, but to lie around, read, visit the spa, and eat a lot of guacamole. Iâ€™m super excited for this trip. To be blunt, it is a vacation for me. And to be blunt, I will be leaving my 10-week old baby behind.
Yes, Iâ€™m ditching my baby, which makes me a little anxious. But, mostly, I donâ€™t have a problem leaving my baby behind since I have wonderful backup. My fiancĂ©â€™s mother is moving into my house for the week and I have a wonderful nanny as well. Itâ€™s not that Iâ€™m not going to miss him, because I am dearly. But since I canâ€™t read the mind of a two-month-old baby, Iâ€™m not sure heâ€™s really going to miss me. All I know is when he wants to eat, needs to burp, needs a diaper change, or a cuddle and thatâ€™s only because he cries. Other than that, the baby is quite happy and quiet.
I know many parents, including my brothers and my sister-in-laws, who refused to leave their babies alone, even for a sleepover with my parents who raised four kids, until the kids reach a year old or longer. My best friend, who has four children, didnâ€™t leave her first baby alone for a night until he was 14 months old. By the time she had her fourth, she went out without her youngest three days after his birth, leaving him behind with a nanny. The first time I left my daughter alone for a sleepover with my parents, she was three months old. I thought Iâ€™d really enjoy the night off, but how did I spend my night? I spent my night looking at photographs of her, calling my parents every 30 minutes to see if she was all right. But I was a first-time mother then.
I really donâ€™t understand women who canâ€™t or wonâ€™t leave their babies behind for a night, if they have trustworthy help. â€śTake the help,â€ť I want to tell them. Go out and have a nice dinner with your spouse! Anyone who has babies or toddlers knows itâ€™s a total crapshoot how your baby is going to be in a restaurant. Weâ€™ve taken our son out twice for meals and they were both miserable experiences. Of course, leaving your baby behind for a couple hours for dinner, or even a night at the grandparents, is a lot different from actually going on a six-day vacation and leaving your baby behind. Iâ€™m sure a lot of people will ask (and Iâ€™ve asked this myself) if Iâ€™m a coldhearted bitch for leaving a two-month-old behind for almost a week. Iâ€™m not. My fiancĂ© and I really wanted a baby. Weâ€™re not cold-hearted. What we are is super laid back. In fact, Iâ€™d go as far to say weâ€™re doing a good deed by leaving him behind with his grandmother, who adores him to the point that she actually calls him â€śour baby.â€ť
Every time she babysits him, Iâ€™ll receive a call or an e-mail the next day telling me that she enjoyed her time â€śimmenselyâ€ť with our son. I know that my son is not going to remember me leaving him for this trip to Mexico when heâ€™s older. Heâ€™s two months old, like Iâ€™ve said, and canâ€™t do much. Iâ€™ve taken my daughter on trips with me, pretty much all the time. What sheâ€™s grown into is a very mature traveler for someone her age or any age. Someone who, if I fall asleep on a plane, actually knows how to order herself a Diet Coke and a meal, and even can hand over my credit card (sheâ€™s knows the pin) to order herself some food. Because she also travels a lot with her father, sheâ€™s completely comfortable in new places and never gets homesick.
Alhough leaving my baby behind this young is a bit premature compared to how my daughter was raised, I think that it will be good for him. I think that, even from his early age, Iâ€™m teaching him a sense of independence. Iâ€™m teaching him that he has a lot of people around him who love him and will take care of him. Is me going away and leaving him behind a little selfish at his age? Um, absolutely. I admit that fully. Am I lucky to have such wonderful help? Um, absolutely. Will I miss him? Um, absolutely. But will I enjoy my vacation? Um, absolutely.