• Tue, Aug 7 - 11:13 am ET

I’m Not Breastfeeding My Newborn — Not Even For World Breastfeeding Week

breastfeedingSo, it’s National Breastfeeding Awareness Month and World Breastfeeding Week and I didn’t know that. But since I recently was in a hospital in Canada giving birth to my son, I’m well aware of the push for breastfeeding. In fact, I felt I was in a cult, not a hospital, because on every wall and in every hospital room on the maternity floor, there were signs posted about the “benefits of breastfeeding.” I read these posters, oh, about a million times, since that was the only decorations on the wall. I almost asked my daughter to bring me her art supplies so I could make my own sign with magic markers writing out the “benefits of formula feeding.”

I knew I didn’t want to breastfeed BEFORE I even went to the hospital and stocked my shelves with formula. Of course I was asked as soon as I gave birth if I was going to breastfeed. I answered, “No,” pleasantly but firmly. The first nurse didn’t say anything but in my two and a half days in the hospital I was asked this question time and time again, always with the added, “Don’t you want to try?” Um, no, I didn’t want to try. Even the pediatrician who came to check on my baby started to tell me about the benefits of breastfeeding while I listened patiently with a dazed look. She knew she couldn’t convince me and actually stopped mid-sentence and left the room because she knew she was arguing with someone (me) who was a lost cause.

The hospital I was in was fucked to put it mildly. The nurses gave me formula, but one day as I was walking my laps around the maternity ward I overheard a nurse tell a new mother that the hospital didn’t provide formula. This of course was bullshit because I was given formula. I suppose I was lucky I had a nurse who didn’t care whether I breastfed or not. I actually wanted to walk into this new mother’s room and say, “She’s lying! They gave me formula!” It was quite obvious that the nurses had all the power when it came to whether you could formula feed, and that pissed me off. I’m all for women’s choice and hospitals that ban formula feeding piss me off because shouldn’t it be the MOTHER’S choice?

Now for a bit of bragging, which I don’t often do: I didn’t breastfeed my daughter, who is now almost nine, because I wanted a bit of freedom, meaning I wanted her father to help out with feedings and also anyone else who wanted to feed her. I also didn’t want my boobs to turn to shit, which is what happens when some people breastfeed. I know this because many friends have shown me their boobs after breastfeeding, especially after two children, and have such anxiety about it. But back to bragging. My formula-fed daughter has only been sick with the flu once and had strep throat once in her eight years on this earth. Meanwhile, my two best friends, who breastfed their children, have constant problems with asthma, earaches, and sore throats. Yeah, breastfeeding really helped them with the health of their child.

Does breastfeeding make your baby smarter? Well, um, my daughter got into one of the hardest private schools in Canada and also got into the National Ballet of Canada. She is also the happiest kid around. In other words, the kid is all right.

There’s the losing weight faster argument, but for every woman who has told me they lost weight quickly, I can find another woman who says it didn’t do anything and even one friend who told me breastfeeding made her fatter. I was back to my fighting shape four months after I had formula-fed my daughter just by eating healthy and working out. I know. I know. Studies have been done about breastfeeding and the benefits. But do they take into consideration the woman’s age, the woman’s lifestyle, and most importantly, the woman’s choice?

In fact, these pushes for breastfeeding can be insulting to women who adopt, or who just can’t breastfeed (and many women just can’t.)

You can reach this post's author, Rebecca Eckler, on twitter.
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  • Gretchen

    This was one of the most annoying things I’ve read in a while. Too much to complain about, I better not even begin.

  • N

    What a mean-spirited article! Good for you for choosing what your kid eats….By the way, the health issues with formula-feeding actually occur later in life- around 50 years old. Look at the first formula generation (those born in the late 1950′s) and the health problems they have. Formula is only really one generation old- making it hardly ‘safe’ or ‘tested’.

    I too was given formula samples from the hospital…..the first ingredient was CORN SYRUP, and the second ingredient was SUGAR.
    That sounds natural and healthy…

  • bang2tang

    did she being paid by some formula milk company?

  • Sarah

    I can’t believe you even wrote something like this!!! I think it should be the mom’s choice of how she is going to feed her baby. But why do you have to bash about breasfeeding?? Who cares what your boobs look like, I mean come on your a mother!!! I was able to breastfeed my oldest for 3 months, I wasn’t producing enough milk for her so had to switch to formula, my 2nd wouldn’t take anything but a bottle no matter how hard I tryed and my 3rd could not latch on. I pumped breast milk for 3 weeks for him and kept trying to get him to latch on. My 3rd is now 5 weeks old and not being able to breast feed him still makes me sad, almost like I have failed as a mother, not because of what others think or say but because I strongly believe in breast feeding and this being my last baby too. And as far as you saying you wanted freedom….well maybe you should of thought about that before having kids. You don’t get freedom once you have babies, they are your responsibility, not someone elses. Anyhow….not trying to bash on you but some of the stuff you said was kind of out there. And not even giving your baby a chance to breastfeed, that is just sad to me, I wish I could of and lord knows I tryed.

  • Makabit

    Yeah, the advantage of having had droop from very early on, is that I had not the slightest concern about whether breastfeeding would ruin my perkiness. Haven’t had perkiness since I could first vote, won’t miss it.

  • Makabit

    I may be sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but I think if I were quite that concerned about the physical impact of having a baby, I might adopt. It’s stressful, but doesn’t change your body at all, unless you eat too many Doritos to cope.

  • Ugh

    Urgh, the nasty comments on this article make me wonder what the primary motivation for breastfeeding is. Feeding your child or feeling superior over other women? Frankly, the language and personal remarks in these comments make me certain it’s the latter. Grow up and stop behaving like spoilt playground brats.