• Wed, Jul 25 2012

STFU Parents: The Various Ways To Announce You’re Pregnant On Facebook

I like to joke that parent overshare begins at conception, because you can learn a lot about a person’s potential for oversharing by reading through his or her timeline during the gestation period. But what about being able to forecast how a person is going to share “kidformation” based on how the pregnancy is announced in the first place? Pregnancy announcements on Facebook have become a Big Thing, with parents-to-be staging their announcements in strategic ways to surprise their friends. By now most of us have heard about gender/sex reveal parties, where people learn the sex of a baby when the parents cut into a slice of either pink or blue colored cake, and I think pregnancy announcements are slowly but surely becoming the next trend du jour along similar lines. (Except so far, there’s no cake, which is a bummer.)

For a while people made their announcements plainly by saying something like, “I’m excited to announce that we are having a baby!” or, “The cats’s out of the bag; I’m pregnant!” and everyone would cheer with “Likes.” But now, people realize there is an art to these announcements. Or conversely, if they shy away from any attention and try to lay low, they catch heat from their friends and family for it. Baby updates and sonograms have become intrinsic to Facebook, and the frenzy surrounding pregnancy announcements is increasing by the day. Here are some examples of ways people announce their pregnancy online for your consideration. Do you think any of these people has the potential to become an oversharer?

1. Announce With Spaghetti Sauce

Even though the expression is typically spelled “preggo,” posing with a jar of Prego spaghetti sauce has become an extremely popular announcement method. There are also a bunch of terrible puns that people like to say in response (“It’s in the sauce.”, “The chunky kind!”, etc.), which sort of lends itself to a good dose of humor. But, it’s still a goofy set-up, and I’ll admit I think it’s kind of overdone.

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  • Yewneek

    I’ll put my money on number two, please!

  • Lulu

    Dear lord. They’re all insufferable. I get that people are excited and I can’t fault them for that but it’s gotten pretty annoying and precious, hasn’t it? My favorite (not) is the subtle reveal, like “Bobby (in reference to their 1st kid) is SO excited to meet his new baby sister!” And then of course they are bombarded with the flood of “OMG, you’re PREGNANT???” Which is of course what the original poster wanted in the first place. Or something even more subtle, fishing for inquiries, the dangle, as it were…like, “I don’t know if I can handle 8 more months without my wine!” And then…well, you know the rest.

    Honestly, whatever floats your boat but whenever I see pregnancy announcements I pretty much cringe, especially the ultrasound pics. STFU parents Pabst Blue Ribbon U/S is still the only one I want to see.

    • wally

      I hate all this stuff. Sorry but I don’t get excited over babies. And I certainly do not want to see ultrasounds. They don’t even look like anything. I bet if I posted one of my fibroid everyone would think I was “preggo.”

    • MJB

      Oh yeah, the vaguebooking for attention drives me bonkers. “I wonder if I’m an adult; well, I better be by mid-November!” OMG! WHyyyyy? What’s in November?

      But maybe that’s more of a ‘hating vaguebooking’ thing rather than an ‘hating announcing pregnancy’ thing.

    • Lulu

      I hate vaguebooking too (I like that, never heard it before…good one) but it seems worse when it’s about a pregnancy. But yes, every time I see a “I’m sad” or “it could have been worse” type update and everyone responds with “Why??? What’s wrong???” it drive s me BATTY.. talk about need for attention. Here’s and idea..CALL a friend, don’t bait people on FB. Oy.

    • wally

      I have a friend who posts crap like “I can’t believe how mean some people are blah blah blah. You know who you are!!!!!” So annoying.

    • http://c.apricio.us Nikki

      I had an acquaintance on Facebook who used the “I don’t think I can go 8 more months without my alcohol!” and ended up getting slapped in the face with more information than she knew what to deal with in regards to fetal alcohol syndrome.

  • Tinyfaeri

    Does anyone but me find the term “preggo” kind of makes your teeth itch? Also, I really hope no one on my FB friends list ever knows when my last period was. Ever. Some shit should always be private.

    • Lulu

      Preggo is bad, like a terrible Rachel Ray-ism. In fact, I’m sure she would refer to herself as “preggo” if she were in fact preggo.

    • R.

      Agree, I hate the term preggo and anyone who called me that when I was pregnant.

    • NotThumper

      omg yes. I hate the term preggo or preggers or anything like that. When I was pregnant I was PREGNANT, not preggers. If anyone referred to me as such I gave them shit for it. It is childish and immature. If you are using the words to describe yourself then I seriously think someone needs to revoke your baby-having rights. Ugh!

  • Pollycrax

    I AM pregnant, and I didn’t announce it on FB, in fact no one but my close peeps and family know (and now you, I suppose). I’m not superior for not posting it, I just didn’t want to at all, I don’t like drawing attention to myself, AND honestly, I really didn’t want to announce something that wasn’t a definite. I know so many people who post at 1 month or even 3 months and every time I think, “I hope they don’t lose the baby.” I say it from experience. I lost a baby at 12 weeks and I hadn’t announced it to anyone except my parents and thank goodness I didn’t because then I’d have to explain why I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I know someone who posted their pregnancy announcement via FB (with a pic of them wearing a pregnancy fake “bump” at a maternity store) when they were probably 8 weeks along and my first thought was, “what if she miscarries?” And guess what? She did! And then went on to write some heartbreaking explanation to her FB friends and acquaintances. I know, her choice, but she could have spared herself the agony. Sorry to be macabre, just making a point.

    • ODBeckster

      I’m sorry that you went through that before… and wish you the best of luck with your current pregnancy! And I’ve never been pregnant, but I totally agree with your point. I have the exact same thought when people announce their pregnancies before the end of their frist trimester. I mean, obviously it is their choice, but I just sorta cringe inwardly and hope things don’t go sideways.

    • Pollycrax

      Thanks! I’m 7 months now and I still haven’t “announced” on FB or ever give reference to it, mainly because it’s not my style, but also, there is a part of me that feels like I’m just going to wait until the dude is born to post anything (if I post anything at all, maybe a pic…) because ANYTHING can happen. I know that’s not the way to live every day, in fear of “what ifs” but in the FB world it just might be…I have 400 “friends” who don’t need to know everything.

    • Dr_Know

      I had the exact same thought. Especially for the pee stick lady; she’s only 2 weeks in!!

    • Ale515

      I had a friend announce it right away. Months later, I wanted to ask her about it and see how she was doing, but I could see that she never posted anything else about/no pics. I felt so bad, it had to have been awkward for her….

    • http://twitter.com/emftaraskiewicz Ellen

      That’s happened to a few of my Facebook friends and I could see them deleting the pictures and status updates they’d made. I remember when one of them deleted an album dedicated to their pregnancy updates and one of their relatives started asking them questions about her pregnancy. When she didn’t answer the relative began yelling at her and berating her for lying about the pregnancy, even accusing her of getting an abortion. It wasn’t until an hour or so later that one of the woman’s friends bitched the relative out and told her that the former pregnant woman had had a miscarriage. The relative finally shut the fuck up, but had the audacity to keep the belligerent messages up on the woman’s wall until the woman deleted them herself.

    • KatDuck

      Hooooooly crap. That’s a special kind of messed up. Poor friend.

    • Kaywinnet

      I feel the same, Polly. If we’re ever able to actually get pregnant, I have at least a 65% of miscarriage, so we’ve ALWAYS planned on keeping it between us and those that would support us through a loss. The people that announce it before the pee on the stick even dries drive me absolutely insane. Partially because I wish I had been blessed enough in my lifetime to ever assume there would be a happy ending.

    • deanna

      See, I would want to be able to offer support and love during a difficult time. I mean, obviously, it’s each person/couple’s own feelings that matter, but I can’t imagine not telling people, then having a miscarriage, and not being able to cry in front of people.

  • guest

    I have a friend who wanted to keep her pregnancy private, so she never made an official status update. However, she did make a private fb group (where she invited nearly everyone into) to announce it and document it daily. Seriously- it was everyday. Every OB appointment, every feeling/sensation. Then she proceeded with the vague status updates on her page several times a week, leading people to ask her, yet she wouldn’t answer. So she managed to simultaneously talk about her pregnancy by NOT talking about it. I wanted to punch her. Then poke her eyes. Then pull her hair. Now that the kid is here, you can’t have a single conversation without her bringing up her kid. And every status can be related back to her child. The sky is blue today? Well, you should thank her for that, because she brought Sneauxflayyke into this world!

    • Mrs. Lynn

      To be fair, it was a private group. People can opt out of it any time so you really can’t complain there. However every status update being about the kid is incredibly annoying. LOL @
      Sneauxflayyke! The alternate spellings some parents come up with is one of my major pet peeves.

    • AP

      Leaving groups that someone else put you in is really user-unfriendly. My husband and I spent a good chunk of time trying to get him out of updates from some group someone else made that kept posting NSFW pics to his News Feed. We’re both way more tech- and Facebook-savvy than our peers, so if you’re not, it’s probably tough.

  • dinsquared

    You know why I have a problem with posting your pee stick to Facebook? IT’S A PEE STICK.

    • betsy

      yes. it’s on par with a poop diaper. or a dirty tampon.

    • Leah Midnight

      Wow, why hasn’t anyone announced a pregnancy via a photo of a clean tampon saying “Guess I won’t need these for nine months!”

    • goofyjj

      Oh I’m sure some mombie is thinking about that now!

    • Toaster

      Quick, get that on Pinterest!

  • Basketcase

    We dont have Pregp sauce here, so I’ve never seen that one before. I laughed – but if I saw it more than once or twice, I imagine I would get quite bored of it…

  • R.

    A growing trend on my feed is people posting that they are trying to conceive or have done it and are waiting to take a test. It is all just TMI for me. I honestly can’t remember announcing my pregnancies on FB (I don’t even know if I had FB!) so if I did, they weren’t very exciting!

    • st

      Wow, people are really hard up for attention..posting that you are trying to conceive? Why open that can of worms, that’s what I don’t get…so then, once you do it you have all these people asking, “So? Are you pregnant yet?” Why would you want the attention, and if you DIDN’T get pregnant or were infertile or whatever, you have people up in your business because you announced it. Dumb, in my opinion.

  • Julie

    I did announce my pregnancy on Facebook, but all it said was “I’m pregnant. And this is the one and only update Facebook is getting out of me.” I did get a lot of comments and congrats, but I didn’t really respond. If there was someone who I really wanted to talk to about it, I called them or sent them a private message. I have a lot of facebook friends who are acquaintances and I didn’t need them knowing specifics about something so personal to me and my family.

  • sara

    I announced I was pregnant by posting an article about ways to announce you’re pregnant on facebook. I hope someone else can now do the same with this one.

  • Littlebeanie

    When I hear “we’re pregnant!”, I automatically assume you are assholes. One of you is pregnant, one of you is going to be posting statuses about your wife “glorious womb”

    • Jessie

      Oh thank god, I’m not the only one who twitches with annoyance when I hear this. Among my group of friends, EVERY SINGLE COUPLE who has had babies has used that term, and I wanted to slap every one of them.

    • K.

      Lord. *I* am pregnant right now. And if my darling husband dared to use the phrase “we” are pregnant, there would be trouble. “We” are not suffering from edema. “We” are not getting stretch marks. “We” are not dealing with rib kicks and bladder punches. And “we” sure as hell are not going through childbirth. It’s also such a lovey-dovey dithery limp phrase to me.

    • LU

      yeah I agree. “I” am pregnant and I’ve never once said “we” are pregnant, because, “we’re” not. “We” are pregnant is barf inducing.

    • LindsayCross

      Really? I had never even considered that saying “We’re pregnant,” would bug people. I’m pretty sure I would’ve done it automatically. My husband and I have been trying for a couple years, so it really does feel like a shared struggle, if that makes sense. If we are lucky enough to have another child, I would probably say “We” a lot, because we’re both going to have another child.

    • Tinyfaeri

      So why not just say “we’re going to have another child!” instead of the less accurate “we’re pregnant?” That’s why it’s annoying to some people. That said, what you do or say is up to you, why care that much about what anyone else thinks?

    • AP

      Unless both parties in the couple have a uterus with a fetus in it, then “we” are not pregnant.

    • Fluffy_1

      Agreed. The term “we are pregnant” is illogical.

    • http://twitter.com/justhypatia hypatia arez

      Agreed.

      We already had built in phrases, “We’re having a baby,” “We’re adding to the family,” “We’re expecting,” etc.

      I’m all for equality but pregnancy is an individual sport.

    • tijde

      Yeah, I guess I’m pedantic about the use of “we” in this situation. “We’re having a baby” makes sense, and I don’t think twice about it. But someone on my feed recently said “We started having contractions” and it threw me for a loop. I pictured the couple side by side, her holding her stomach and him rubbing a Charlie horse.

    • done_with_that

      It makes perfect sense what your saying. These people are so literal, they must be a peach to have conversations with.

    • Heather

      I can’t stand when people say “we’re pregnant,”, either. Kutesy kouple krap™ makes me want to become a wanderer in the wilderness and release myself from all human connections.

    • deanna

      Yeah, WE are having a baby, but WE are not both pregnant….

    • Fluffy_1

      Agreed. I loathe that term with the hate of a thousand suns. No, both of you are not pregnant; the woman is. I’ve also seen oversharing from fathers to be, posting “we are pregnant”… gah!

  • Another Steph

    I actually thought the first one was kind of cute. And then I had to go and open the damn slideshow, didn’t I?

  • Colleen

    I don’t understand why people insist on posting sonogram photos. I don’t need to see the inside of anyone’s uterus, except my own, thank you very much. And I will never have any desire to post It for my 300+ “friends”. It makes me want to get my hands on a colonoscopy video to post in response to these “over sharers”.

    • Quackfaster

      A friend of mine posted a sonogram photo with a comment “It’s an alien!” or something similar. I guess that’s the way to go if you reeeeeeally feel you have to announce your pregnancy. She’s since gone the overshare route, though.

    • Guest79

      I had a friend who… her ultrasound picture was actually really neat. You could see the shape of the head and the nose and TEETH. Which was a bit freaky but awesome.

    • http://twitter.com/justhypatia hypatia arez

      Personally I don’t even really need to see the inside of my own uterus. I have no problem leaving that to the doctors.

  • Janna

    I didn’t want to announce my pregnancy on Facebook at all last year. I was pressured in to posting something because people were insane about my lack of posts. I finally posted a sonogram screen capture showing all four of the twins’ feet in a row to freak them all out. It got worse when people thought we were having quads or they were pissed because we didn’t want to know the sexes of the babies.

  • MJB

    I met a friend the other day who took me aside to let me know my bump was big enough that people would be now able to tell I was pregnant. “I know,” I said, “I’ve told everyone.” “OH! because you didn’t announce it on Facebook.”

    If a pregnancy goes unannounced on Facebook, does it still exist?

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/TF2RSEGK5BTBPRRXHPVCUON2KQ James

      It’s amazing how facebook has become the center of the universe for people. Somebody said the same thing to my wife once she started showing, essentially critcizing her for not posting about the pregnancy on facebook. I currently am not even on facebook and have no plans to be, but people tell me that they assume I’ll sign up so I can post pictures of the baby. WTF? We’re excited to be parents but we’re not doing anything special or unique by having a kid. Insects perfected it eons ago.

  • Mrs. Lynn

    I am not bothered by u/s photos at all, hell, we posted ours, but PLEASE do NOT post the stick that you PEED on. Are we in jr. high?

    • Fluffy_1

      Once the baby is born, I’m expecting Mrs Pee Stick to post some placenta. O.O

  • Maggie

    God forbid you just be happy for the people who are having a baby. It’s their choice, and if you don’t like it, unsubscribe to their updates on your news feed. STFU Parents has become awfully judgmental lately, and I’m not really a fan of your “holier than thou” attitude.

    • Kate

      I like reading this blog. It is, as you say, my choice, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it or take it out of your RSS feed. Your comments have become awfully disparaging lately.

    • goofyjj

      and your choice not to read STFU, Parent’s. If you’re not a fan – why read and comment on it?

    • http://avatarsankh.blogspot.com/ Xyzzy

      Being judgmental is nothing new for STFUP; it shifted quite a while ago from being all about overshare & jerky behavior to include styles or ideas/beliefs B dislikes or feels are too common. Chances are that it only just now hit a particular nerve/trigger of yours.

      Note for others: I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy STFUP or object to it.

    • Misty Henry

      you all need 2 gro up. the wurld isnt all u

    • Maggie

      And you need to learn how to spell.

    • Fluffy_1

      If you don’t like STFU Parents, then you could, you know, not read it any more and remove it from your favourites list. Not hard.

  • Lindsay

    I have a gigantic family and we’re all on FB to keep in touch, so I did announce my pregnancy at about 6 months. But I sort of regretted it around the due date when people would post on my wall EVERY DAY asking if the baby was coming yet. As if I wasn’t anxious enough already. I wanted to strangle them. I just didn’t respond.

  • Dee

    There’s also the toddler wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m the big brother/sister” — which two of my friends have done — so, so tacky.

    • http://avatarsankh.blogspot.com/ Xyzzy

      I don’t think it’d be great for a status update, but in the late 70s/80s
      it was pretty much the norm for suburban little kids to get that shirt
      when a younger sibling was born as part of making the kid feel positive
      & included when it came to their new sib. Given mimics of the
      screen-tees from back then are trendy, it doesn’t seem particularly
      tacky for that generation to replicate it with their kids. As they say,
      whatever works.

  • Justme

    With the exception of the pee stick (or any other body function/part etc.), who cares how people announce it on Facebook, or in real life for that matter? These people are excited about what is happening in their life and as someone on their “friends” list, can’t you just be happy for them and not knock how they told you?

    I mean, yeah….the jar of pasta sauce isn’t really my style but whose to say that everybody enjoyed the fact that I put a t-shirt on my dog that said “Big Sister?”

    Live and let live people.

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  • Becki

    Have you seen the shoe pictures? The ones with the parent’s shoes and a little pair in the middle with the due month photoshopped over it? I’ve seen that happen twice in the past 6 months from friends who don’t even know each other. >___>

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  • Leigha7

    …Why would that not occur to her as a possibility? Honestly, that would be my FIRST thought. She seriously jumped to lying about it? What is WRONG with that person

  • Leigha7

    I just love how it’s always “Having such a horrible day” “Why, what happened? Are you okay?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Well okaaaaay, then why bring it up?

  • Leigha7

    I actually had someone this week post (unrelated to pregnancy) that they were sick of waiting for the results from their OBGYN, and then a few days later that they’d gotten them and everything was normal. Good for you, I guess, but um…ew. I don’t want to know about this. I barely know you (we went to high school together).

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  • Americord Reg

    Plan the pregnancy press release
    When you find out that you are pregnant, you will need to plan how and when to spread the news to friends, family, and colleagues. When my wife and I found out that we were pregnant, we were so surprised. It was only about a month after the wedding, after all. We were so excited that the home pregnancy test had two lines, we took 10 more pregnancy tests and lined them up on the bed next to each other just to make sure (all of them positive by the way), and then we called our parents. We didn’t even know at the time that the miscarriage rate is highest during the first trimester. This is something to consider before you go telling everyone. It is not that easy to keep this a secret. Your friends will start guessing when your wife refuses the wine at dinner. And if one of your friends or your wife’s friends guesses, everyone will know. No one can keep this one secret. If you don’t mind the privacy invasion, Facebook makes this pretty easy to spread the word. Sending or posting a picture from the ultrasound to family or friends is another fun way to spread the news. I kept a copy of the ultrasound in my wallet and showed it to my friends when we were together.

    http://wifeispregnant.com/2011/08/09/plan-the-pregnancy-press-release/

  • Kitkat32

    I wasn’t sure about announcing my current (first) pregnancy, but my friend just blurted it out on my wall. How’s that for crappy ways it gets announced on fb. So not pleased.

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  • Mellisa Hannah

    I have been trying for 10 years to get pregnant and needed help! Been going to the doctors but still nothing. the doctor said my husband and i are fine , I don’t know where else to turn. until one day I read how dr.ukpoyan helped others get pregnant ONLINE i then contacted the great spell caster via email and he cast a pregnancy spell for me and gave me a 2months sure guarantee that i will become pregnant , and exactly 6weeks later I went to check and i was pregnant and later on i gave birth, i can never forget the great spell caster that`s opened my blessings of conceiving today its marking 5years my son was born and i also have a baby girl who is one and half years old, i want to use this medium to tell other women out there who is having pregnancy issues not to wait for years like i did contact him today email: dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com

  • Mellisa Hannah

    I have been trying for 10 years to get pregnant and needed help! Been going to the doctors but still nothing. the doctor said my husband and i are fine , I don’t know where else to turn. until one day I read how dr.ukpoyan helped others get pregnant ONLINE i then contacted the great spell caster via email and he cast a pregnancy spell for me and gave me a 2months sure guarantee that i will become pregnant , and exactly 6weeks later I went to check and i was pregnant and later on i gave birth, i can never forget the great spell caster that`s opened my blessings of conceiving today its marking 5years my son was born and i also have a baby girl who is one and half years old, i want to use this medium to tell other women out there who is having pregnancy issues not to wait for years like i did contact him today email: dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com

  • nunezjen

    My husband and I made our pregnancy announcement to our family at 8 weeks. We tried to be creative with the announcement so we did it two different ways:

    1. We bought a few albums (for each family member) and on the first page we added the ultrasound photo along with the announcement “Baby Salazar arriving October 2014″

    2. We printed the ultra sound photo and the announcement (double-sided) and rolled it up into a scroll and stuffed it into a balloon for family members to pop it and see the surprise inside.

    Lastly, we recorded everyone’s reaction and made a compilation video to share with friends and family on Facebook. It was a lot of work, but SOOOO worth it. Here is the link below for our final result!

    http://youtu.be/l3emd_wWDbM