My personal opinion is that like a lot of mothers, Hilary Duff – who was recently caught holding a cigarette – is a liar. Duff was trending a couple days ago because the new mom was – gasp! – holding a butt. People, it seems, are mad at her because not only was she caught with a butt in hand but also she’s a new mother, which somehow makes this habit worse. Quite frankly, everyone I’ve ever interviewed in the entertainment industry smokes. (I won’t out them, but let’s just say most A-list actors do smoke.)
Duff apologized for it and insisted she was holding the cigarette for a friend. “It looks worse than it is,” she said. Honey, it’s okay. You were caught smoking. Just say you’re trying to quit. I pretty much think/know she’s a liar because no smoker in his or her right mind would give a cigarette to a non-smoker to hold. Why? Because generally speaking, non-smokers hate smoke, and smokers understand this and would stamp that cigarette out before even thinking about asking a non-smoker to hold it.
I know this because I, too, am a part-time smoker. I am not proud of this. In fact, I hate myself every time I light up. Starting to smoke was the worst thing I have ever done, especially since I started smoking in my twenties, which is way past the time anyone with half a brain should start to smoke. Would I ever give a cigarette to a non-smoker friend to hold? Absolutely not. In fact, half my friends don’t even know I sometimes like to smoke. They have no clue, and they’ve known me for years.
But I have another group of friends – all mommies – who do know I smoke, because they smoke, too. Sometimes, I feel like my house is a daycare for smoking mommies. But, like Hilary Duff, no mother I know wants anyone to know she smokes. Because I have a backyard with a high fence that blocks anyone from seeing in, I have a rotating group of mommies who come to my house, not really to see me, but to use my backyard to smoke in privacy.
I have a couple mommy friends who come in the morning, after they drop their kids off at school. This is my morning group of mommy smokers. Then I have another couple friends drop by late in the afternoon, before they have to pick up their kids from school, to smoke. Finally, I have a night crew who comes by after they put their kids to bed. I really should start charging them an entry free, because I could make a lot of money.
Sometimes I’m not even home, but they have the code to my backyard, and I have an open door policy for my “smoking mommy friends.” Smoking is a disgusting habit. And yet, I know so many mothers who smoke. “We need to smoke because we’re the ones who are stressed out!” said one of my smoking mommy friends the other night. She never smokes during the day, and only smokes when her kids are in bed and asleep. (She’s part of the night crew in my backyard.)