Moms are so familiar with the happiness debates. Are you happier if you have children? Are you happier if you stay home with your children? Are you happier if you wait longer to have children?
Science seems to be constantly wondering who is happier. (Apparently, these researchers are having a hard time making their own life choices and really want some data to back their decisions up.) And as my wonderful editor Shawna has said before,”No matter what the ‘experts’ tell us, only we know what works for our own family.” Moms are oh-so-sick of the happiness debate, because it constantly assumes that all mothers are alike. Or all women are alike.
We’re different! We want different things! Some of us want to be mothers, some don’t. Some want to stay-at-home, some don’t. Some want kids at 22 and others want kids at 38. As long as we find the right fit for us, what on earth does it matter?
Well, I’m not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing, but it looks like dads are finally getting introduced to the happiness debate. TIME has declared, “Despite a boatload of research linking parenthood with all sorts of negative outcomes, a three-part study finds that parents — and dads, in particular — are decidedly happier than nonparents.”
Now, I could like you know all how TIME came up to this exciting conclusion. I could make stereotypes about men and their protective instincts or their natural compulsion to spread their seed. (How gross is that phrase by the way?) But that would be silly.
Dads are just like moms. They’re all different, they all face their own struggles and they all have to make choices that make them happy. Not every man wants to be a dad, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I happen to be thankful that I found a man who shared my goals for a family. I’m thankful that I married a man who is an amazing dad. But that doesn’t mean that every man out there should want to be just like my husband. Life doesn’t work that way.
It’s not just the moms, researchers. The whole planet will soon be very sick of the happiness debate. Let’s just focus on finding out own happiness and stop comparing it to our neighbor’s.