Welcome to Splitsville. This weekly column will focus on parenting after a divorce, break-up or one-night stand that didn’t end like a Katherine Heigl movie.
If you would like proof that divorce is a lot more than just ripping apart your marriage contract, just ask Kim Kardashian. The reality star’s divorce proceedings have lasted longer than her marriage to pro-athlete Kris Humphries. Obviously, these things can take some time to sort out.
That’s why I’m a little skeptical of new “Divorce Hotels” that are said to be coming to the United States from the Netherlands any day now. Apparently, a couple can visit one of these hotels still joined in Holy matrimony and leave after a weekend as two single kids looking to have a good time. The couple would pay a flat fee for their stay and legal proceedings, as well as agreeing to have the whole thing taped for a possible reality show. Of course.
Now personally, I’ve never been through the legal proceedings of a divorce. My daughter’s father and I were never married. That being said, just ending a relationship with someone I wasn’t married to was difficult enough. Break-ups, no matter how confident you feel in the decision, are still pretty emotional things. And the details of a break-up after you’ve shared a home or had kids are really important things to figure out together.
No one wants to see a drawn out legal battle, but I have a feeling that if those couples currently fighting in family court wouldn’t be able to just sit down and hammer out in agreement during a weekend trip to the Hyatt.
Honestly, I think the biggest problem with this entire idea is the way that it trivializes and down-plays divorce. No matter common it has become, divorce ends relationships and can tear apart families. While it is completely possible to raise happy and healthy kids after divorce, it is by no means easy. It takes a tremendous amount of work and cooperation by separated parents. And even without kids in the picture, divorce is an intensely emotional experience.
The idea of making a weekend getaway fit for Bravo or Lifetime out of what is a complex and serious decision cheapens marriage itself. And it insults what can be a truly difficult experience for so many people who took their marriage seriously.
This whole movement to make divorce cute or worthy of celebration seems misguided to me. When we get married, we make a vow to love one another forever. If that wasn’t our initial plan, then perhaps we shouldn’t have made that commitment. Throwing a party of taking a “reverse honeymoon” to end what should have been a life-long partnership is just so disrespectful to me.
Divorce isn’t a party. It’s not a quick and simple process. It wasn’t designed to be. Divorce is a life-changing event that deserves thought, a lot more thought than you can cram in to a weekend filled with producers and camera-men. Call me old-fashioned, but just because you’re headed to Splitsville doesn’t mean that you need to belittle the importance of the relationship you’re ending.
(Photo: Daily Mail)