• Tue, May 15 2012

Mommy Newsflash: ‘Stealing’ Someone’s Baby Name Is Not A Crime

Just days aoriginal baby namesfter Blue Ivy entered the world, proud parents Beyonce and Jay-Z trademarked their little girl’s name. But guess what? You can still name your little bundle Blue Ivy if your heart desires (just don’t go using that name on your line of hipster onesies). The point is, baby names are a free for all. Nobody owns the rights to a baby name – not your cubicle mate, your BFF or your very own sister who had the name “Zoe” picked out from birth. And it’s about time people stopped accusing others of “stealing” their baby names. This isn’t high school, people!

Yesterday the Social Security Administration released its list of the top baby names for 2011. As fascinating as the list itself is the fact that some people are actually upset if their chosen baby name happens to have fallen on it. For example, the name Mason is in the No. 2 spot for boys – much to the dismay of parents who believe they personally invented/discovered that name (newsflash: you didn’t!).

One Mommyish reader named Katie shared her own ridiculous baby name-stealing story. It goes like this: girl in daughter’s class is named Isabelle. Isabelle’s mom went NUTS when a fellow mom named her second child Isla. She claims to have invented the name Isabelle and she felt that Isla was just a bit too similar. So Isabelle’s mom flipped out at Isla’s poor mom and accused her of STEALING the name she magically created by combining Izzy and Belle. (Isabelle’s mom, if you happen to be reading this: Get a grip, lady!)

This past weekend, the New York Times devoted space to this very issue. One reader – “Meghan” from St. Louis – wrote in with the following:

“I’m expecting my first child next month. We’re naming our son Benjamin, a family name filled with meaning. I told my colleagues months ago. My assistant is also expecting her first child. She recently announced that she will name her son Benjamin, too. I approached her privately and told her I was upset. She thought I was being unreasonable, and told me she chose the name after me because she thought it was cute. What should I do?”

Meghan, too, was told to get a grip – thank god! (It was even recommended that she consider the name Nenjabim as an alternative, which cracked me up.)

My point is this: If you have an “original” baby name picked out, don’t share it in advance. If you do share it in advance, don’t be upset if someone else uses it. Hate to break it to you, but you don’t own a name.

Another point: If you hear a name that you like, go ahead and use it. Who cares if there are two “Jayden“s in the same playgroup? Chances are there will be two more in little Jayden’s classroom, anyway, and another seven at your next door neighbor’s birthday party.

And one final point: There is no longer such thing as an original name! We’ve heard it all, baby.

(Photo: Arcady /Shutterstock)

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  • Ceci’s mama

    Get a grip is right!!! Names are like any other trend. Growing up my classes were full of Jessicas and Lindsays. It’s just the way things go. Also, since when is Isabelle an original name???

  • jenni

    I agree! I was born in the late 80′s, so my name wasn’t as popular as it would have been 4 or so years earlier, but when I was in school there were multiple ‘Jennifers’. Did this make me any less special? No. It just meant that I went by Jenny, one girl went by Jen and another went by Jennifer. I also was graced with the very original last name ‘Williams’. Seriously, I was the most un-uniquely named person ever.
    My SIL just had her second child, and with both boys she kept the names from everyone in the family until they were born. What were these mystical, magical names that needed to be protected? Michael and Patrick. Classic names for a classic Irish-Catholic family.

    • Ashley

      Some people keeps the names secret because, inevitably, will try to talk them out of it. We haven’t even conceived yet and I have a friend who does that. “Think of all the horrible nick names they’ll call him.” Then he rattles of about 6.

  • BattleOf3

    People just have to learn to be original.. My 3rd pregnancy was a surprise so I had fun with my daughter’s name… while still allowing her to be employable-her name is Lillian Snow White. I kept it fun and I had my 2 older kids help !!

  • laila

    Boring Anecdote Time: When I was a kid, I knew a girl who not only shared my forename but had the same middle name I did. As if that wasn’t enough, her older brother had the same forename as mine. I have no idea what my mother made of it but as a child I thought it was one of the most awesome things ever. The fact my forename isn’t a common one only got her bonus points. (My brother’s name, by contrast, is so common there were four of them in his class at secondary school – and three of them fell right next to one another in the register.)

    Bottom line is the child either won’t care or, if they’re anything like I was as a child, they’ll think it’s cool. Were none of these women ever kids themselves?

  • Belle

    I still cannot get over how many Alex’s are in my life: brother, boyfriend, bf’s best friend (to name but a few). All the Alex’s have a father named Peter. Bf’s best friend Alex has the same birthday as my brother Alex. I like to think of it as a little sign we’re meant to be. I don’t really believe in that stuff, but it makes the coincidence fun, not creepy! :)

  • Ashley

    Being an Ashley, I can understand not wanting a zillion other kids with the same name as your kid. Two of my best friends in life were named Ashley and in most of the 9 schools I went to, in each of my classes there was at least one more Ashley. College was even worse. And 9 times out of 10, it’s Ashley Nicole or Ashley Marie (also seen as Ashley Maria). I hate my name, but I wouldn’t want any other one. I am Ashley *shrugs*.

  • R

    I’ve never cared that others had the same name as me, and my son doesn’t care when he meets kids with his name. I guess I just don’t see the big deal. Honestly, my daughter’s name is less common and it gets mispronounced or she is called the wrong name all the time and it’s a pain. I’ve never had someone not able to say or spell “Josh”.

    I do think it’s funny how angry people get when their name moves up in popularity or when someone else chooses their name.

  • Eri

    My bestie is in a major feud with her sisters because the eldest has an issue with my bestie saying she like the name Aubrey. What bestie could not have ever known (because no one in that family actually TALKS) is that 13 years ago when eldest was preggo is that she was expecting twins, one died at 3 months the other went to term. The one that died “was going to be named Aubrey”. Bestie asked if she could name her new daughter in honor of her and her sister said “How dare you!? I can’t believe you’d do something like that!”.

    Mom is taking eldest and middle’s side and my bestie (as the youngest) is getting the shaft. I tell you, people get WEIRD about names. We have Ethan, Owen, and Dylan in my family – the mom never looked at the SSA site and was mad when she discovered the commonality – and Linnea and Linus too; Gavin and Gabriel.

    Heck if I know what name I’ll end up using!

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  • Sam

    The whole trend of, “OHMYGOSH, I MUST FIND A NAME THAT IS 100% ORIGINAL FOR MY CHILD!” is based upon fear.

    Fear that your child won’t stand out, be recognized, or deemed special.

    Relax. Our parents and grandparents made their mark on the world, despite most of them being named John, Mary, Elizabeth, and William.

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  • Psych Student

    In college, I met a guy who had the same name as me (though the first name was spelled differently (Cori – mine, vs. Corey – his)) and our last names are the same. We even both have a paternal grandfather named John. And we both play the viola. It was super entertaining. I got the biggest kick out of finding out what else we had in common with one another.