Masturbating Moms Go Mainstream

SNL parody 50 shades of greyYou know Fifty Shades of Grey is so much more than just poorly written “mommy porn” when Saturday Night Live parodies it. And what a job they did! The book sucked, but SNL‘s skit was genius. They created a Mother’s Day commercial for Amazon.com that had kids walking in on their moms getting off while reading the book (“Get the fuck out!” shouts one woman mid-bath). Honestly, it had me howling.

I’m fascinated by Fifty Shades not because I enjoyed it but because it’s become such a phenomenon. These days, it’s more shameful to say you didn’t like the book than to admit it turned you on (but more on that in a separate post); just as Sex and the City got women talking openly about sex – no details spared – Fifty Shades of Grey suddenly has moms everywhere openly discussing butt plugs in the school parking lot. And masturbation, a subject that is still taboo in many circles, is now front and center thanks to this latest parody that’s been posted on my Facebook wall at least 13 times this morning alone.

Check out the video here. The best part is when one woman’s husband and two children decide to bring her breakfast in bed (a Mother’s Day staple that most moms really don’t want, by the way). Anyway, she’s got her legs in the air and barks, “What are you doing? Get out!” The kids hop into bed with her anyway, and the little girl grabs her vibrator, exclaiming, “Look! A microphone!” It is so funny, you have to watch it!

(Photo: stryjek/Shutterstock)

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    • willowreed

      Just gross, even if everyone does it, like breastfeeding I do NOT feel the need to witness this crap.

    • Wils

      All of a sudden it is “ok” for “mothers” to read these books? What world do they live in? Goody-two shoes world of niceness? Novels like this one have been around for a long, long time. I guess the milkcows finally grew up. Moo.

    • Lindsay

      Wow, first time I’ve heard breastfeeding compared to a raunchy BDSM book. That’s a joke, right?

    • Rodney

      Why are people just now talking about these things.
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    • H.H.

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    • Mallory

      My mom encouraged me to masturbate from age 14 onward, probably so I wouldn’t end up getting pregnant. By the time I was in college me and my mom were shopping together for personal vibrators. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to self pleasuring, it is a stress reliever and does the mind wonders. Most people jack and jill atleast once a day, some do it numerous times a day and that is their choice to do so. Personally I don’t think you can sexually please your partner or vice versa without first knowing your body better than anyone else, and the only way to do that is to explore yourself during leisure time. It’s also a good way to build discipline and stamina so you don’t climax too quick during intercourse. My ex boyfriend who frequently ejaculatea 2-3 times during intimate times with me, used to always release his first within 10 minutes of beginning (that is way too soon) so he began masturbating before sex, releasing a sample of his DNA before beginning the real deal. He still spunks as much as he did before, he just doesn’t blow his first stack as quickly when he takes care of business first. Whether you’re alone and want to pass time or relieve some tension, or with your spouse/partner, masturbation can be extremely valuable. It’s actually a skill that takes years to master. Anyone can get-off in a matter of minutes, but to prolong orgasm or have multiples during a single session alone or with a partner takes lots of practice and the only way to graduate is to explore yourself by yourself with yourself. Also, mutual masturbation is a great alternative to sex, especially while driving on long distance road trips. Couples who masturbate together- stay together. -Mallory

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