Happy Mother’s Day! 10 Reasons It Still Sucks To Be An American Mom

mother's day

At Mommyish, we’re not really fans of Mother’s Day. Call us crazy, but an influx of roses and cards simply doesn’t compensate for the rather pronounced injustices that American women with children confront everyday. From our pathetic excuse for a maternity leave to your employer breathing down your neck about breastfeeding to the gender pay gap, being an a mother in the United States could be celebrated in ways more beneficial than a one-time spa visit. Like protection in the workplace, preventing insurance companies from claiming pregnancy as a “pre-existing condition,” and kicking that infant mortality rate down a few rungs.

So while you’re penciling plans for a mediocre brunch with your in-laws, remember that mothers are by no means a respected cohort in the United States.

(photo: olly/ Shutterstock)

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    • Andrea

      Thank you, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! for posting this. It is SHAMEFUL how we treat parents in this country.

      • MAP63

        Really? What makes us parents think we deserved to be this protected class of citizens? Why this faux martyrdom that parents adhere to these days? While I agree with some of the above, having kids is a choice. I made it, I take the good and the bad.

      • Jane

        It drives me nuts how people use the “you CHOSE it” excuse. Choosing something doesn’t entail that you deserve to work with it alone.

        People have been having kids forever. It’s a natural part of life. Nowadays, we have the choice to opt out, which is fantastic. But that doesn’t mean we should now act like having kids is some sort of unnatural problem best left to the individual who does so. Punish them for their foolish choices!

        Society needs to value its future generations. They will work alongside us and eventually take over our jobs and responsibilities, not to mention care for our generation as we age. It’s, again, a NORMAL part of life.

        Therefore, society as a whole (including the individuals who opt out, which is fine) need to support families by first not treating them like a problem, and by allowing flexibility so that they may raise their children while still providing for their kids financially.

        It’s so foolish to act like having kids is some sort of bizarre choice made in a bubble. People have kids. It’s part of life, not a problem.

        Every time I see one of these articles, I’m so happy to be in Canada. I get a year’s leave, and my employer tops up my benefits. It’s wonderful to be in a society where the general attitude is “kids are part of life” (for many), “and we support your career with us while you balance that.”

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    • Gracie287

      I think one of the key points about FMLA is that even for the people who qualify (it not only depends on number of employees, but also length of employment), it is unpaid unless your employer volunarily offers paid maternity leave (mine does not). As a relatively new employee when I had my son, I had to put together personal days, sick days, and vacation days, and still came up with nowhere close to 12 weeks. I was lucky that I could afford to take the remaining weeks without pay, but many women cannot, and not all women work for jobs that provide sick/personal/vacation day benefits at all.

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    • Avodah

      Gosh, does it suck to be an American mom. It is horrible that women here can choose to have a family or not, and there are consequences (good and bad) to either decision. So horrible.

      How dare people? How dare people make being a mommy so awful?

    • The Mommy Psychologist

      I find myself struggling at times trying to make my way through this new mommy world. It’s been three years for me. And then I remember how good I have it and that these are really high quality problems. I have a perspective change here:
      http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/05/08/what-are-the-real-parenting-problems/

    • Raero

      This is ridiculous. Seriously? Go to Africa, Mexico or Asia and complain about how hard it is to be an American mommy. I’m sure the mothers there will sympathize.

      • Morrigan

        “This is ridiculous. Seriously? Go to Africa, Mexico or Asia and complain about how hard it is to be an American mommy. I’m sure the mothers there will sympathize.”

        False dilemma.

        Inequities in varying parts of the world don’t cancel each other out. One can address women’s rights and health in the U.S. and do so for other parts of the world as well.

      • guest

        I think you’re absolutely right Morrigan. But I think that saying it “Sucks” to be an American mom is pushing it.

    • Jen

      I hope this is a joke. Seriously??? You CHOOSE to have children or not. Nobody forces it on you and those factors should be weighed in before you make a decision.

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    • T.S.

      I fail to see why anyone would be up in arms about pregnancy being classed as a preexisting condition…if insurance companies are allowed to use that exemption, why wouldn’t it apply across the board? It would be better to fight the cowardly use of “preexisting conditions” to refuse necessary coverage to those who are paying for that very thing, whether the condition is pregnancy or something else.

    • Lindsay

      I guess the problems are all of your own making, mommies, since you CHOSE to have children! Let’s all just not have children. I hope the nursing homes won’t be understaffed and society won’t fall apart. Oh wait, it will. Dipshits.

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