• Thu, May 3 2012

Unbearable: Why Talking About Infertility Is So Important

infertility sucksHaving a child is usually a happy time in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, as we wait longer to have children, infertility and trouble conceiving can become a part of the family making process. Unbearable addresses these difficulties.

This month marks one year of writing about my struggles with secondary infertility. In May 2011, I wrote my very first piece about my empty uterus and the false hope I get each and every month that I might finally be pregnant. Since then, we’ve discussed the awkwardness of the fertility testing process, the inappropriate questions about when you’re going to have another child, and even the pain and suffering of experiencing a miscarriage. Readers, we’ve been on a bumpy ride.

There have been Thursdays when I’m just not sure that I can write another piece about this difficult process. There have been times when I want to discuss anything besides the continued struggles of my reproductive system. Concerned friends and family members have asked if I shouldn’t move on to more positive topics, leaving the depressing realm of infertility to a new blogger. Every time I consider it ending the Unbearable saga, there’s one reason why I choose to keep exposing my uterus for the world to see. The heart-warming emails I receive from other women who are currently or have previously dealt with infertility and miscarriages.

Over this year, my email has filled with stories from women all around the world. I’ve heard from women whose journeys mirror mine. I’ve heard from moms who struggled for years and finally welcomed home the beautiful child(ren) that they wanted so much. I’ve seen encouragement and well wishes, commiseration and sadness. For each and every one of these notes, I am so incredibly thankful.

These emails do more than give hope and purpose, they explain just why its so important that we continue to talk about our experiences. For too long, women struggling with infertility have felt isolated and alone. We’ve been embarrassed or uncomfortable admitting to our problems or discussing such personal details of our lives. But I think we have proof that women really want someone to connect with on these issues. We want to know that we aren’t alone.

For decades, infertility has been a private struggle. It’s a personal problem. But it’s also something that women are dying to give a voice to. We want to share our experiences, help those around us and hear that we aren’t alone. We need to know that it’s okay if you are completely convinced that you’re pregnant each and every month. We need to say, “So what if I get a little emotional around newborns?” We need someone to talk to when Aunt Elise won’t stop saying, “Just when are you going to give us some babies?” over and over again at family dinners.

These things are important. They’re why I’m proud to have spent the year sharing my story. And they’re why I hope you’ll continue to send me your emails and share your personal experiences in the comments.

It’s been one year since I started writing about infertility, and even though I’m not pregnant, I feel like there’s been a whole lot accomplished in this time. It gives me hope for the year that lies ahead.

(Photo: Evil Genius Woman)

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