Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting married! Now that we’ve all had a day to get excited about the engagement news, it’s time for the collective media to start planning their wedding. We could pretend that we’re above that type of speculation, made solely to generate topical content, but no media company on the planet is. We’re all going to talk about Brangie’s wedding until we run out of relevant things to say, and then we’ll do a dozen more posts.
So where do you start when you plan a wedding? With the wedding party of course! Specifically in this case, you figure out what how your six beautiful children are going to be involved in this very special day. On that area, I have a little expertise that I thought I would share with the happy couple.
I started dating my now-husband right after my daughter’s first birthday. In fact, I remember being impressed that he remembered my little girl’s birthday and inquired about the birthday party. We were co-workers at the time, and that small act of thoughtfulness made me realize just how amazing he is.
By her second birthday, we were engaged and throwing her party together. What can I say, we both knew what we wanted.
Before her third birthday, my daughter was walking down the aisle with me and my father. Sure, she was supposed to walk ahead of me, strewing flower petals in my wake. But even for our extremely small and intimate wedding, it was a lot of pressure to put on a young girl. Instead, my dad carried my little girl with us.
In a lot of ways, it seemed apropos that Brenna came down the aisle with me. My husband wasn’t just pledging his love to me and we weren’t just joining it matrimony. We were both making a commitment to our family, and that included Brenna.
Since this type of arrangement is a relatively new form of etiquette, I thought I would give Brangelina a couple tips from my daughter-as-flowergirl experience.
- First of all, integrate your little ones where it feels natural for you. My husband and I decided to write our own vows, and without any prompting or prior communication, we both focused on the family we were building, not just the marriage. Choosing to write our own vows let us bring our daughter into the ceremony without forcing the issue. She was part of our ceremony in our own words, and that made it special for us.
- Don’t expect everything to go as planned. These actors should know that working with kids adds a air of unpredictability to the show. Every bride has to accept that her flowergirls and ringbearers might cause a couple chuckles or deviate from their script. Especially on a day that has so much tension, kids might not take direction.
- They’ll be as involved as they want to. During my very small reception that only included our (admittedly large) extended family, I planned a song for my daughter and I to dance to. But by the time the reception rolled around, my daughter was overwhelmed with the pageantry. She was done. At first, I tried to force her into the celebration with me, but she was happiest hanging out in the basement with he cousin.