Several months ago, I posted a column called “5 Things Parents Should Not Discuss About Their Baby Boy’s Junk.” (I also posted a round-up of examples on STFU, Parents.) I wrote about the usual stuff like baby balls and baby boners, but one subject that didn’t make the cut – heh – was circumcision. One reason for that is that circumcision is a very sensitive subject (pun #2!), and the other reason is that I figured if I was going to bring it up, I may as well dedicate a whole column to it. After all, we’re talking about a surgical procedure in Man’s most private of areas. What could be more deserving of its own column than that?!

Seriously, though, I avoid the topic on my blog (with the exception of this post about an intactivist father), because unlike breastfeeding – another controversial subject that occurs in infancy – the pros and cons of circumcision are often weighed equally. According to KidsHealth, “circumcision is not considered essential to a boy’s health,” and, “The AAP does not find sufficient evidence to medically recommend circumcision or argue against it.” Because of this gray area, I’m reticent to share my own views, so today I’m not imparting any of my personal beliefs or forcing my opinions on anyone. I’m simply here to say that circumcision is a personal matter, a family matter — and for that reason, people should probably stop talking about it on Facebook.

Here are five reasons why:

1. Timing

STFU Parents

Unless you’re inviting people to a religious ceremony, there’s no need to announce exactly when your son is getting circumcised. Feel free to share the news with friends and family – just preferably offline and without a play-by-play.

2. TMI

Everything about Melissa’s update bums me out. From her botched spelling errors to the painful detail about her kid’s re-circumcision, her update proves why Facebook shouldn’t be used as a baby book.

3. Public Opinions and Updates

Roger’s comment sums up my feelings on this whole discussion. The more medical history a person publicly reveals about his or her family members, the more opinions come into play. I think it’s great that Kaitlyn “likes opinions on stuff like this,” but there are a number of inaccurate “facts” in this Facebook thread that prove the conversation should be had offline. Plus, even as a woman I’m offended by the statement, “…he looks funny to me.” I’m guessing Roger might share that sentiment, as well.

Another thing about conversations like this: Why do people always feel the need to share updates as things progress?

Poor Kevin. First Kaitlyn takes their son to get his foreskin removed at the doctor, and then she emasculates her husband on Facebook using an exclamation point and a smiley. I guess we know who wears the pants in that family, so to speak.

4. Religion

I’ll ignore the fact that this child’s name is “Behr” and cut right to the chase: If the two things you shouldn’t talk about over dinner are politics and religion, then it’s safe to say you could apply that rule to Facebook and add circumcision to the list. Once you start talking about foreskin as it relates to Him, you’ve officially loost lost me.