13 Reasons Your Daughter Will Be Called A ‘Slut’ By Age 13

Girls are called “sluts” and “whores” for a slew of absurd reasons. Sandra Fluke may have been called a “prostitute” for engaging in public discourse and advocating for something she strongly believes in, but she is hardly the first woman, nor will she be last to be attacked with sexually-charged language because she’s female. Culturally, we have quite a long history of attacking women and girls with such misogynistic language — much of which is still common on many modern playgrounds. Girls as young as nine years old may not know the actual definition of a “slut,” but they do know that the term implies that they have transgressed in some way — either for the length of their skirt or simply for excelling in school.

Traditionally, “slut” has always been a term used to degrade women and girls for their sexual behavior which is problematic on its own. But even now, this type of attack on girls is considered socially warranted for all kinds of behavior, much of which we now hope to instill in our daughters such as being smart, independant, outspoken, opinionated, and unique.

Your daughter doesn’t even have to be sexually active to be called a “slut” by her peers, her friends, other women, and of course even Rush Limbaugh. And yet, from the predictable backlash to her playing with makeup to standing up for herself in a fight, all continue to be socially acceptable grounds to slander her as a “slut.”

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    • 1st-Time Mommy

      I remember the first time I got hit with the “slut” insult. It was so unexpected that it’s still clear in my mind all these years later.

      I was a total tomboy all throughout my life, up into high school, so most of my friends were guys. There were no romantic connections, and I was very much treated like one of the guys. I didn’t dress provocatively, I barely touched make-up, and we were all “good” kids in the same youth group, so cursing or using sexual language was out of the question.

      Yet, my mother told me I needed to make a different set of friends, because, “You look like a slut, being the only girl around all those boys.”

    • Anonymous

      I was repeatedly raped by my step grandfather from the time I was 9 until I was 13. When I finally found the courage to speak up, I was asked more than once by family members if I had done anything to encourage it. Another family member called me a slut when I was 16 because I “lost my virginity at 9″ as if I had something to do with it. This whole slut thing is a huge issue for me. I makes me so angry now as an adult and a mother to two girls and a boy.

    • Michelle

      It’s so disgusting to see from the other comments that girls are called sluts by their own family members. How awful to have someone you trust and love to call you something so demeaning.
      Personally, I don’t ever remember being called a slut in school…at least not to my face. I think all name calling can be applied to this list. I know I was made fun of by being called a prude…opposite word but same effect. I thought something was wrong with me for not having a boyfriend in middle school.
      I hope that I can teach my kids that anyone in general trying to make you feel inferior have their own issues and are pushing them on your success. They are jealous of you and whatever they are trying to make you feel bad about.

    • CW

      If you require modest clothes and don’t allow her to wear makeup, her appearance won’t be an issue. That just leaves her behavior. She cannot control any unfair criticism she may receive, but she can and should conduct herself in a way that doesn’t leave her open to any other criticism. A virgin may be unfairly called a slut by someone, but at least she knows that she isn’t really one.

      • Cait

        Not being a virgin does not make one a slut. And, even if one self identifies as a slut, so what? We should teach our girls that “slutiness” as name calling might be used to hurt her, but being in control of her sexuality and deciding when, how, where, with who, and how often she has sex is not something shameful. Waiting for marriage, waiting for someone special, or having sex for the sheer enjoyment with whomever strikes your fancy: all of these are valid ways of experiencing sexuality, so long as you stay safe and practice good consent.

        We need to de-stigmatize “slut” and talk openly and honestly about sex rather than shame anyone.

      • notpoliticallycorrect

        Deciding how where when and how often she has sex……..

        Wow….. Such weighty decisions you want to thrust upon young girls (and boys) who are yet trying to understand what sex is all about? You want to cut short that entire understanding process by telling them its okay to just go right ahead and do it, no matter if they don’t really know if its the sane thing to do?

        I’m tired of this boring old meaningless line about not shaming… and taking “control of their sexual lives”. At the young age that you are talking about, giving them “control” is nothing but a cruel joke against the inquisitiveness of children. Just because sex is not wrong, doesn’t mean there’s no reason not to fuck around.

      • CW

        No, we do not need to “de-stigmatize” promiscuous behavior and our daughters (and our sons too!) *SHOULD* feel ashamed when they engage in that sort of immorality. Shame and guilt are not bad things, but actually gifts from God to help us stay on the narrow path. They help us repent of our sins and the desire to avoid feeling them again in the future is added motivation to reject temptation.

      • Jen

        CW: I’ve gotta say, I’m beginning to think (hope?) that you are just a really good troll. If you are an actual person who is raising your kids with your value I feel AWFUL for them, especially as you are keeping them from the outside world. Please realize that the kind of hate you push is harmful–to society as a whole–but also to your children.

        It’s sad that you think teaching your children to be self loathing individuals who are ashamed of themselves (God help those poor kids if any of them are gay or transgender) and who feel that they have neither bodily autonomy nor the right to have a say in their own lives is good parenting. It’s even sadder that you are teaching them to spread the hate to others who don’t fall in line with your worldview. You are the worst kind of bully because you think you are righteous and you encourage your children to follow the same.

      • pleaseshutupbitch

        FIRST OFF I AM NOT A BIBLE THUMPER. I AM A FUCKING ATHEIST. NOW. CW is right we need shame and guilt to keep us from being shitty fucks. But libtards like you come along and promote whore culture and take shit out of context, resort to slander, and make excuses for anyone who isn’t PC. You are even projecting right now, you say she wants people to fall in with HER worldview, but aren’t you doing EXACTLY THE SAME THING? YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE AND MOST LIKELY A FUCKING SLUT.

      • Nebrakadedsra

        @CW- “…but actually gifts from God to help us stay on the narrow path.”

        “…on the narrow path.”

        “…narrow path.”

        “…narrow…”

        Congratulations, ignorance sure is blissful isn’t it?

      • BBJ

        No, a girl who is called a slut may not know that she isn’t really one. A child who is attacked and slurred by others will probably internalize the disapproval. She will learn that no matter what she does, she will be judged, and her sexuality made a means to mock and harass her.

        That’s what this is about.

        Modest clothing and no makeup may be nice, but it’s not protection. Teaching our children not to humiliate and abuse others can be.

    • Gerrie

      So basically unless I home-school my daughter and never let her out of the house, she’s going to be called a slut? Wow, really sunny world-view you’ve got there.

      • 1st-Time Mommy

        CW trolls on most of the stories, always with the same women-bashing crap. Best to ignore him.

      • CW

        Him? I happen to be a woman, thank you very much. Not all of us who have 2 X chromosomes have been brainwashed by the secular progressive agenda. Some of us are God-fearing, Bible-believing ladies…

      • 1st-Time Mommy

        No, you’ve obviously been brainwashed by the conservative, woman-hating agenda. And I’m a God-loving and Bible-reading woman myself, and I can’t remember a single time Jesus called a woman a slut…

        Of course, I don’t let my 2 x chromosomes hold me back from actually reading and studying the Word on my own, as opposed to letting someone else twist it to their own beliefs and then tell me what is says.

      • Snark

        @ CW
        “God fearing, Bible believing”
        Well there’s your problem right there!

      • CW

        Jesus told the adulteress to “sin no more” and elsewhere in the New Testament there are clear warnings against giving in to sexual temptation: “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

      • 1st-Time Mommy

        How is a victimized 13-year-old girl equivalent with the adulteress in the Bible? Also, yes the Bible is full of warnings about giving in to sexual temptation…But how is a little girl giving in to sexual temptation by speaking out in class, or being pretty, or the majority of the examples this article cites? Being the subject of sexual temptation is NOT a sin. Unfortunately, the sort of pervs who would call a pre-pubescent girl a “slut” are more often than not engaging in victim-blaming. Since they feel lustful towards her (or perceive that others lust after her), they decide it must be HER fault.

        As it says in Matthew, “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.” It does not say, “If your eye causes you to sin, go tell the girl your eye was staring at to show less skin.”

      • rita

        it’s true, its just the world we live in and middle school is the worst.

    • Liz

      Calling a girl or woman a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore’ is simply the easiest and laziest way to defame, shame and down-grade a female. It’s the modern version making them stand in the town square with a red letter on their collar.

      When my turn came and I was so upset – esp. because I was a rather innocent teenager who still played in the mud at 15, my Mum told me about and bought me history books on witch-burning and other forms of female suppression, telling me, “When women are strong and brave and clever, it can scare people who are narrow-minded and afraid of your independence and individuality. You’re a threat to them just by being yourself, so they’re trying to make you feel worthless. Do NOT let them.”

      After reading these books and her pep-talks, I thanked my lucky stars I didn’t live in those times and it was just dumb, unimaginative name-calling that couldn’t hurt me unless I let it – so I ignored it or laughed in their faces and very quickly, it stopped. My Mum didn’t go to the school, I sorted it out by myself and to this day, I’m really proud that I handled the situation. It made me feel strong and added a layer of thickness to my skin. It wasn’t the last time I was called a name like that but it was the last time I let it hurt me.

    • allewelt

      Once a man confided that the reason, he called all woman slut and whores was because when we was young boy, his father beat him and mother could not protect him; and so his he requarded all woman as slut and whores. Perhaps, that’s why men have many followers who attact a woman’s dignity. It not what they wear, it who they are; the mother who allowed them to beaten and humilitated by their father.

      • whiteroses

        My question, allewelt, is– how often does that happen? Some men call women sluts because they’re just jerks who are threatened by a woman’s intelligence, and it has nothing to do with what happened to them in their past. I’d like to believe that EVERY man who calls a woman a slut has a “good reason”. But the fact is, most of them don’t.

        I’m not saying that boys shouldn’t be protected or looked after. I’m currently five months pregnant with my first baby, who is a boy. But boys also need to know that calling a girl- or ANYONE ELSE- a derogatory name is not acceptable.

      • Mercury7JG

        So instead of calling the man that beat him an asshole, he called the woman that man probably also beat a slut and whore? I’m sorry, but that makes no sense at all. I’m sorry that man had a horrible father, but I’m even more sorry that he somehow reasoned that his horrible parent was his mother. It sounds like this guy is just another misogynist misplacing the blame for his abuse.

      • dave

        I have never called a women an slut to make her feel bad. Why would I? She is providing easy, commitment free sex for single men until they find a nice girl to settle down with. No guy wants that to go away., LOL, the sexual revolution was the single most awesome thign to happen to men in ages. promiscuous women just hate the fact that men of every race color nd creed across the planet since the beginning of time have and always will be concerned abotu a womens sexual histroy. Especially in this day and age! Women want to use their sexual power as a young women without it counting against them when they want to settle down. for the life of me, I dont how feminsits will condition men to think like women and beocme indifferent to sexual history, but they are trying apparently. I find it bizzare becasue its really just instinctual for man.

    • Ruth

      One that wasnt listed but should be: because her friend called her it thinking its cool. I see way too many young girls on facebook and other social media calling each other slut and ho so very casually, almost as a (gag) term of endearment. This horrifies me. I suppose they imagine themselves to be edgy and cool when they do this without realizing how damaging it is. How can we get mad at men calling us degrading names when we are busy doing it to ourselves?

      • dave

        Yes! Indeed it is a magical time to be a man. You have your career, hobbies, friends..just as men had int eh apst, but today men are empowered with cheap, easy access to women’s bodies. I jus recently entered the dating cense in NYC and I didnt realize what type fo fantasy land feminism has created for single dudes. forget about family and responsiblity and all that crap, that is hard work. Why commit to one woman who will age twice as quick as me when we can help young girls “explore theiur sexuality” thereby serving our own sexual needs and at the same time doing a good deeed for society by helping young women become sexually liberated.

    • George S

      Young ladies and men are not mature and ready for sexual relations. That’s why sex should be saved for marriage.

      Having sex with someone causes you to have an emotional and spiritual connection with someone. It can cause you to stay with them, when you really know you shouldn’t. It can cause all sorts of bad errors in judgement. I can cause pregnancy, which can derail your future schooling, or current studies.

      Our society has so many broken marriages, so many single moms, so many out of wedlock marriages, because society seems to think sex is ok whenever someone wants it. It’s looked at as a right, instead of the a privilege that you need to work for by finding the right man or woman.

      • Nebrakadesra

        For the most part, I agree with you. In no way do I believe kids are ready for sexual relations (by ‘kids’ I mean those who are 18 and under). Most of them are unaware of the repercussions that sex- namely unprotected sex- can bring, and many KNOW but never think THEY’LL become a statistic.

        With that being said, sex is NOT a privilege, and I find it sad that you refer to it as such. It is a right just like choosing when, where, and with whom to have sex with is a right. If someone chooses to save herself/himself for marriage, then more power to them. If they feel that they are ready for it, then more power to them. It’s THEIR choice and they shouldn’t have people telling them that by choosing to engage in premarital sex THEY are the reason why this society is crumbling.

        On the contrary, this society is crumbling because people are unwilling to change and progress. The family dynamic has transformed and it needs to be embraced in order for us, as a society, to move forward and tackle bigger and badder things. It’s no longer the “mother-father-child” model; single parents are raising perfectly healthy, socially stable children; same-sex couples are adopting and raising children and giving them more love and a more stable environment than their heterosexual counterparts could be bothered with (obviously they are if they are adopting in the first place. That tells me that the straight couples brought a child into this world and wanted nothing to do with him/her).

        Tl;dr- our society is crumbling because people like you can’t move forward and accept the change that is inevitable. What worked 2,000 years ago (or even 200 years ago) DOES NOT work today.

      • notpoliticallycorrect

        OTOH.

        It’s all the MORE important today to have lots of involvement of parents with kids, with BOTH parents giving their side of their experience to the children. Both parents should work (ideally) and both should teach their children what they can and are capable of. For the rest, they should imbue the child with basic judgement, common sense, and ability to shrug off politically correct bullshit, such as all the promiscuity-promoting (both genders) that goes on.

        We could have managed with broken families when we were still more or less like monkeys. Even when we were primarily a farming community. Not now.

        What would have worked 200 years ago can’t work now. We need intelligent and bright people raising kids, with more than one parent.

        I think even polygamous (m men + n women) marriages could work. But not single parents. No freaking way. It’s just too strenuous on one person, and its not fair to either child or parent. Besides, it leads to too much imprinting of one person’s personality on the child, without the necessary balancing force.

      • whiteroses

        I’m with Nebrakadesra. Sex isn’t a privilege- it’s a responsibility that you shouldn’t undertake unless and until you’re willing to deal with the responsibilities that inevitably come with it. Most teenagers make stupid choices, but if my son came to me and told me that he got a girl pregnant, I would darn well hope that I’d raised him well enough to accept those responsibilities. Raising a kid is hard enough when you’re over the age of twenty, educated, have a savings account, and access to your own transportation. It’s harder still when you have none of those things and your own brain is still developing. But that doesn’t mean that anyone has the right to sit in judgement.

        Some single moms (or dads) are actually better parents than households with a mom and dad. You don’t know their situation. It’s better to be a single parent and be happy than be in a miserable relationship that affects your children every day. Speaking as someone who is not currently married but has been with my fiance for the better part of a decade and is currently expecting our first child- I can safely say that we have a more stable relationship than a lot of married couples I know.

        Times change, and we have to adapt or die. I, personally, would rather have the world we live in than a world like the one we used to have, where unmarried women were shamed and their children called bastards. “The good old days” weren’t so good.

    • 1st-Time Mommy

      Here’s another one to add to the list: “For being on birth control, even if it’s strictly for medical reasons.”

      http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/04/1070800/-I-ve-spent-the-past-2-days-trying-to-convince-my-16-y-o-she-is-not-a-slut-?via=sidebyuserrec

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    • jess

      In the bible story about Dinah , she was a young girl who was raped in a field on her way to visit friends, when her father and brothers found out about it they killed the guys whole family. If dads and brothers were to defend women like this today NOBODY would use the S word !

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    • Courteney

      It seems really weird to me that you’re using these stock images of little girls for this story. It could easily be done without pictures, and they dont need their pictures associated with the word “slut” even if you are pointing out who wrong that is.

      • NotThumper

        Damn good point, I couldn’t agree more.

    • Bored Law Student

      I was called a slut when I was a virgin….still am a virgin at 21.

    • Baba

      I hope one day ever girl is a slut with a hot pussy ass and mouth that’s just wide open for business for any guy one the playground that wants a piece or wants to stick his cock up in there. That’s why I’m gonna buy my daughter silicones when she turns 14 and can cram a bunch of cocks up in her during rough sex and gangbangs.

    • TruthToldHere

      The problem with this article is that more and more girls are indeed sluts. Just look at the uncountable number of females being filthy whores on porn websites. back in the 90s, you could actually count the number of girls who were porn “stars”. But today, the line on the graph goes through the roof. The Internet and its lack of regulation, as well as big mouth media are the biggest reasons why this is happening. The only way to solve this problem is to raise your children at home. Not in public schools. Secondly, disconnect from the mainstream. We have a TV. But I downloaded all of our programming to discs. My children have never even experienced a “commercial” in their life. I throw away junk mail that shows up showing suggestive photos. They are not allowed to listen to ANY music that suggests or even sounds suggestive. Most of today’s music is whorish music. It comes dressed in many flavors. But it tastes the same. Thus, it is forbidden in my family.

      I personally cannot see any legitimate justification for sending a kid to someone else’s care. I am a parent. That means, it is MY responsibility to raise them. Not someone else’s. But today’s “grown ups” seem to love money so much, they are unwilling to sacrifice for their child’s future. There are more and more people today going off the grid. They are living off of almost no income because they invested what they had into a piece of land. No electricity. No water line. No middle man! Yet. Like our ancestors, they know how to be self reliant. No debt. A lot more freedom. A most of all, a peaceful, spiritual existence that ALL children need. Living in a modern society is the worst place for any kid. You don’t need to take my word for that. Society is proving itself bad on its own. It is high time we all turn away from capitalism and consumerism. Make the largest corporations DIE and go away. Shrink our government to the size of a pea. The world can only be better when the people run it.

    • Justdance4

      Slut shaming is so 2010 ! Why are people so obsessed with it ?

    • Jessica

      just used this article to demonstrate to a ‘humour website’ that prides itself on its feminism why its not okay to post a picture saying ‘sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics’ and then go on to describe their various definitions of what it is to be a ‘slut’

    • Nim

      Another word replaced instead of slut seems to be lesbian or gay now. A few years ago I was 16 I had a steady boyfriend and wore a little makeup now and then as well as wearing feminine but not revealing clothing and I was called a slut, despite being a virgin. I was led to believe I was a slut and so broke up with my boyfriend and had my hair cut very short. The names changed from slut to lesbian and tranny. I had to choose which hurt the least and go with it.