• Mon, Feb 13 2012

May You Never Raise A Daughter Who Begs Chris Brown To Beat Her

Chris BrownChris Brown, singer of “Beautiful People” and abuser to Rihanna, allegedly made a comeback at the Grammy’s this year with two performances. His win for best R&B album marks his first return to the award show after assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna three years ago. And plenty of young women showed their support for the artist by tweeting that he could beat them any day.

BuzzFeed rounded up the 25 most unsettling tweets, some tagged #womanbeater and #love. All of the women expressed a dismissive attitude towards Chriss’ felony assault charges simply because of his performance and talents, some tweeting “Dude, Chris Brown can punch me in the face as much as wants to, just as long as he kisses it” and “Chris Brown could serenade me and then punch me in the eye. I’m down for it.”

Chris BrownSuch reactions are beyond disturbing considering that they reveal not much has changed in the minds of young people since that notorious study on high school kids following news of Rihanna’s injuries. A whopping 46% of kids said Rihanna was responsible for her abuse, and 52% said that both parties responsible for the fight escalating to violence. Yet these recent tweets in light of Chris’s welcome back into the musical elite are most alarming in that these young ladies somehow see abuse as permissible if the abuser is talented and attractive. [tagbox tag="domestic abuse"]

The media’s blasé attitude in response to Brown doesn’t help how this issue gets packaged to our kids either as the NY Daily News describes him merely as a “controversial R&B singer” for his crimes. Controversy is what happens when Lady Gaga shows up to an award shows in a meat dress. The word doesn’t nearly come close to encapsulating the gravity of felony assault charges by a court of law.

These tweets by young women should serve as a real eye-opener to parents as they illuminate the lasting impact of such a scenario on our youth. Mothers and fathers concerned with instilling self-worth and value into their daughters would do well to take note because as the popular logic stands, Rihanna “complained” by filing charges against the man who punched her.

(photo: WENN)

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  • Jen

    It IS incredibly disturbing. We keep seeing again and again that men who commit violent acts against women are let off the hook relatively easily and many women will rush to defend them–especially if they are seen as talented or attractive. Brown has taken almost no responsibility for his actions, his more recent behavior has been recently disturbing and violent, yet he still has a base of adoring fans who either attempt to excuse his behavior or see it as unimportant.

    We’ve also seen this with other men. Charlie Sheen has abused a number of women with little to no negative consequences–though when he insulted a powerful man he was publicly castigated. This plays into the same culture that slut shames and justifies rape. We are seeing a huge amount of anti-women legislation (and I’m not simply talking about harsher abortion and BC regulations). There have been a number of proposals to change the way that we talk about victims of rape and the ways that we categorize what rape actually is. Additionally, several states have moved to make it harder for police to intervene in cases of domestic violence and have attempted to make violence towards women less prosecutable.

    With all of the anti-female and especially anti-feminist rhetoric that has taken over the public conversation, it is no surprise that so many young women not only dismiss the notion of domestic violence as inconsequential, but actually express themselves as willing to become victims themselves so long as the man performing the actions is attractive or talented enough to make the pain “worth it”.

  • GeekyMommy

    BTW those two girls deleted their Twitter pages.

  • Kacie

    It is highly disturbing, but people do need to be aware that violence in relationships does often mean BOTH parties are being violent. I have seen this with several friends, and it probably explains part of young people’s opinion on the subject.

    • Jen

      Besides the obvious fact that in this situation there was absolutely no suggestion that Rihanna had been violent with Brown, the blame was being placed on her because obviously she escalated the fight to the point where he just had no choice but to punch her repeatedly in the face; what exactly is your point? No one is saying domestic violence doesn’t effect men too, no one is suggesting that abusive relationships can’t be abusive on both sides–though that is generally NOT the rule–this is simply a matter of young women being so desensitized to the idea of domestic abuse that they make it clear that they not only would be willing to be beaten, but would actually invite it if it meant they were able to be in a relationship with a certain type of “attractive” or powerful man.

      Your comment adds nothing to the initial conversation and puts you firmly in the apologist camp.

    • Canaduck

      @Jen — Nothing I can possibly add; very well said.

    • Kate

      Sorry Jen, but you’re wrong. Police reports and Rihanna herself clearly stated that she instigated the physical confrontation when, after reading a text message that upset her, she slapped him and scratched his face and arms. And before you all jump on hating on me, that doesn’t mean that she deserved it, or that it was appropriate, or anything like that. It does, however, change the way people view the situation. Should he have hit her? No. But should she have hit him? Also no. And I think that’s the point that Kacie is making – that a violent relationship often involves more than one violent person.

    • Jen

      Kate: The only places I’ve seen indications that Rihanna hit Brown was in his witness statement to police (a reliable source if ever I’ve seen one) and numerous gossip sites. That just doesn’t fall under the “proof” category. And she started claiming she started the fight AFTER getting back together with someone who it was whispered had been abusing her before this story broke. To this day she refuses to hold him accountable for what he did–which is pretty classic abuse victim behavior.

      And the point is that these women are asking to be hit by a man who is known to have beaten a woman so severely she needed medical attention. He threatened to murder her. Let me repeat that, these women are begging to be abused by a man who after beating a woman nearly unconscious threatened to kill her if she talked. Who the hell gives a shit whether or not men are the only ones who are abusers (for the record, everyone knows they are not)? This situation speaks to a much larger issue and you are pulling the exact same sort of bait and switch routine that Kacie was. It doesn’t make you wise or fair, it simply means that you are ignoring the larger picture to argue about details that have NOTHING to do with what is wrong with this exact situation.

  • Steph

    So sad.

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