Wholesomely Pregnant Jennifer Garner Regrets Being A Young Wife

Jennifer GarnerJennifer Garner may be associated with happy marriage and family life as she is now expecting her third baby with husband Ben Affleck. But Jennifer did a walk down memory lane with The Sun and said that she regrets getting married so young the first time around to then-husband Scott Foley.

The soon to be mommy-of-three told the publication:

“I wish I’d known to wait for marriage until I was 30 or over. I did marry in my twenties and I found divorce a crushing experience.”

Jennifer was 28 when she married Scott, and the pair then divorced four years later in 2004. There may have been no children in that union, but Jennifer says that she was “beyond heartbroken” when the marriage ended.

Nevertheless, she also adds: [tagbox tag="Jennifer Garner"]

“But I got up and got on with it. I also kept my belief in marriage.”

Such a resilient belief is no doubt present in Jennifer’s adorable growing family with husband Ben Affleck, revealing that even a wholesome family women and dedicated mother like Jennifer can misstep, marry too young, make a mistake and still find her way to motherhood — provided that marriage and motherhood are what she ultimately wants for herself.

(photo: WENN)

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  • Amanda

    Young marriage is definitely not for the faint of heart. And unfortunately these days, I believe a lot of people are throwing in the towel without any genuine effort to salvage their marriages. I eloped at 21 (he was 23) and am happy still with my husband 9 years later, though it hasn’t always been easy. We both served in the military and endured several deployments away from each other. He saw me through college afterward and now he is currently finishing his degree. I consider us fortunate that we were able to use those experiences to grow together rather than to grow apart. Furthermore, we waited a long, LONG time to have start our family (our son is 1). I think waiting for children helped tremendously. Also, I really think the key is elbow grease and don’t give up until every effort has been exhausted. Nothing worthwhile comes easy; young or old.

  • Ellie

    Married at 20. 20 years later, we still couldn’t be happier. So it can work.

    But I think it really depends on who you are, what your expectations were going in, and how much work you’re willing to put into it. People rush in, marry for the wrong reasons, or *are* just too immature to make that committment. That can happen at any age.

  • carolyn

    Married at 19, just celebrated 50 years together… 2 kids later….5 grandkids later…..we are going back to Paris to celebrate our anniversary….we went there when we married…he was in the military in Germany when we married…I ran away from home and we married there. It has been easy……just remember…honesty and be faithful..it matters.

  • Carlotta

    She shouldn’t have cheated on her first husband, then, if she found divorce such a “crushing experience” and “beyond heartbroken”. Her very public affair with her then-costar from “Alias” was all over the news. They were very indiscreet. What did she think was going to happen when her then-husband found out??

    • kristi

      to begin with, Scott was pissed at her success and wanted her to quit Alias but she didn’t. She filed for divorce in May of 2003 but it didn’t go through until the following year. She started Dating Michael Vartan in the later half of 2003.

      So if you call dating after filing a divorce cheating then WOW.

      Also: And although Garner is now enjoying a romance with her Alias co-star Michael Vartan, Foley, 31, is eager to point out infidelity was never a factor.”

      May want to get the facts right before you attempt to smear her name.

  • Tina

    I regret marrying THE WRONG PERSON at twenty-one. See, it wasn’t my age, but my piss-poor abilities in mate selection to blame.

    I also find all the people commenting about their happy marriages and “giving up easily” a bit offensive. Good marriages don’t end in divorce. I was married for almost ten years. I put up with things I never should have and I’m not a better person for it. I would have been a better person to walk away before I had not only a broken marriage but a broken spirit.

    Congratulations to those who chose wisely and have worked hard (I’m not saying good marriages are easy marriages) to maintain a happy, healthy relationship. You haven’t been where divorced people have been. Our cultural tendency to shame divorce like this keeps people in bad situations, married to people they shouldn’t have been married to in the first place as if divorce is giving up on something.

    • Amanda

      I fully appreciate your point of view. I replied below, but wasn’t trying to insinuate that people should never get divorced. My parents divorced after 25 years together and trust me, it was something my sister and I were begging for them to do for the last 15 years. Obviously not everything is going to work out. All I was trying to say that I don’t think people exhaust all efforts to better their marriage before throwing in the towel. I hate to use celebrities as examples, but holy cow, a 14 month marriage (Katy Perry)?! I don’t think that there was time or effort there to save it, at least not in the very small time they were married. Time didn’t permit exhaustive means. And I adore Jennifer Garner, but a 4 year marriage? I just don’t see how either of them truly tried.

      Sorry your young marriage ended in divorce and that he was Mr. Wrong….but wow, you tried! You tried for a decade! I think that proves you gave it your all and though it was likely painful, it shows a massive amount of maturity which I think is a main component missing from all of these short-term marriages.

    • Tina

      Amanda: No personal disrespect to you, but I don’t personally know anyone who got divorced who shouldn’t have gotten divorced. People don’t take it lightly and it’s hard but better than sticking around because you “ought” to work at it. Sure, some issues can be worked out, skills built, and outside help sought, but it is no one’s place to judge how much time is too much time or what measures ought to be taken before filing for the big D. Staying together because you weren’t mature enough to get married when you got married is a faulty logic. Sounds less like respect for marriage than using it to punish those who make mistakes. You mention a four year marriage. What I wouldn’t give to get six years of my twenties back?

      As for me, I didn’t stay because I was nobly working on a relationship. I was living a life of quiet desperation, trudging on, because, hey, it wasn’t all bad, he wasn’t all bad, and it’s what I signed up for when I took vows, right? In the end, he left to be with a woman he knew in high school (grass is greener syndrome) and I had a nervous breakdown. Believe or not, we actually talked seriously about working it out afterwards and it was I who finally put down the final “no” and ended even the possibility of friendly contact. Down to the day, over a year after he left, we went to court, it was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but infinitely better than what I lived with in my marriage.

      I love my life now. I’ve worked hard to rebuild a life I never planned on: divorced at thirty. Lest you think I’m bitter, I’ve met the love of my life and am truly happy for the first time in my adult life. If I’d had any idea how good a relationship could be, I’d never have married the ex in the first place.

    • Hope

      I agree completely! I got married at 19 and was married for 4 years to a mate who did nothing but make me feel like garbage. I was told all through out my divorce that I “should try and work it out” and that I was “going to hell” for divorcing my then husband. I am now happily married to an amazing man. Had it not been for my first marriage being as painful as it was, I don’t think I would have been able to appreciate the great man I have now! I didn’t give up on my first marriage, I just shouldn’t have gotten into it in the fisrt place. Good luck to you!

  • Lila

    Get your facts right! She was 28 years old, NOT 22 years old when she married Scott Foley. Jennifer was born in 1972 and wed in 2000.

    28 is not a “young wife” by any stretch of the imagination.

    • Koa Beck

      Hi Lila. The cited source previously had Jennifer cited as 22 years old when she married Scott. They’ve since amended their coverage and we have changed ours. Thanks for pointing out!

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  • Diane

    Young or old, being with the right person is what matters. You can try all you want but if the other person has issues from their past or family it is really hard to overcome. Many stay in a marriage because they do not want to be divorced. They want to make it work. But, being with someone who drains you with their needs or attitudes is exhausting. It does not allow you to be all you can be. This is a problem for many women and men. A partner who is a taker and always want more than they give is tough to deal with. Whether that is in time, energy, effort, taking care of children, home, parents, etc. We all deserve someone who celebrates the best of who we are, and is gentle with criticism when we need improvement. But, many people are too wrapped up in what is wrong with themselves or their family to be helpful to a partner.

  • Erin

    That’s funny, my mom told me that she shouldn’t have gotten married so young. Married my dad right out of high school (he was a year ahead of her) and 4 kids and 22 years later, apparently it just wasn’t a decision she wanted to live with anymore. Or the fact that her boss, whom she was having an affair with, made lots of money and she is now living the life she apparently always wanted.

  • katie

    what?! 28 is young???? give me a friggin break!!!!!
    i was 22 and married and am STILLL married 18 yrs!!!!
    3 kids
    LOVE my husband, he loves me, we were MUCh younger.

    sorry- just bugged me….

    • Erin

      My mother was 18, my father was 19. They were married for 22 years and had 4 children and what seemed to be to everyone (my father included) a very happy marriage before she left him. You know what she told me (I was 17 when this happened)? She said, “I never should have gotten married so young.” I agree that 28 isn’t young (especially if you want to have children), I was 26. But hind sight is 20/20 and most people realize that they weren’t as smart/mature as they thought they were when the look back on it. But I also think that economic stability has as much to do with it as anything.

  • Meghan

    I agree that it has less to do with age (to a point) and more to do with the two individuals involved. If the partners just aren’t compatible for life, then it won’t work, no matter how old or experienced they are.

  • Laura

    I was married at 20, have been married for the past 5 years but with my husband an overall of 7 1/2. In this day and age how he and I value our marriage is not heard of. We put our marriage above everything else and have a 4 year old and a little boy on the way, our daughter was an ‘unplanned’ pregnancy but we focused entirely on her and our marriage and now 4 years later we made the conscious decision to have another (and our last) once we bought a home, had stable jobs, and felt our marriage was at the strongest it has been since we began to be together. It’s all about your mind-set, and yes the person you are with being either the ‘right one’ or the ‘wrong one’. Plenty of people our age rushed into marriage after a couple months together whereas we married after 2 years together, most of those peers are divorced now, with at least a couple to a few kids in the middle of it all. Not to sound self-righteous, but we have always had honesty, complete communication and a friendship and love that has helped us become how we are now. I can only imagine how we’ll be 20 years from now. It’s all about the friendship, love, and commitment you and your partner have before even being married; Marrying young is for some, not for all.

  • Samantha

    I like Jennifer Garner and I think she is talking about herself, but there is too often this blanket statement that you can’t get married under 25 or 30… which is bologna if you ask me!! And it bugs me to know end to see people say that being under 30 is too young to marry. It has nothing to do with age but how mature you are.

    I was 22 when I got married (almost 8 years ago) and I couldn’t be happier with my decision. By the time I was 22, I had lost a parent, gotten into and climbed out of credit card debt, lived away from home, had a full time job and was putting my self though college. I was more than ready to get married. And I have loved it, my husband and I spend 6 years just married, we went on big vacations, went on little trips, bought a house, experienced two job losses, all together, and when we were ready, we welcomed our daughter in October!

  • Key

    I am 25 and got married at 23 me and hubby are the same age and known each other since we were 14. I have a 7 month old and now i’m pregnant again. It is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. Most of the time i wish that we had gotten ourselves together on our own first before we got together and made a family. I am feeling depressed because he wanted to move 9 hours away from my family where we had our own place to move to the country in Ms with his mother. I hate it! I keep telling myself as soon as he gets a job we will be alright but i’m feeling more and more out of love with him and i don’t know what to do. I want to go home to my family but i started my own, i just wish hubby had more motivation to get a job and move us out of his mother’s house. my point is age is nothing but a number but if husband and wife don’t work together then nothing will get accomplished i’m feeling like i want a divorce because he just doesn’t do anything, i have the baby all day everyday even tho he has no job but for some reason i just can’t throw away 11,12 years just for a little hardship but i’m feeling less and less in love with him and i don’t know what to do..

    • Jane

      I think ultimatums are required here. You should be able to tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t respond, you need to consider other options. One of you has to be the grownup and make the decisions cause he isn’t!

  • she

    I really like Jennifer but sorry 28 is not a “young” wife. I’m sure 50% of the women in this world get married before 20.

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