• Thu, Feb 2 2012

Don’t Knock Gwyneth Paltrow For Bathing With Her School-Aged Kids

gwyneth paltrow bath with kidsPeople love to hate Gwyneth Paltrow. What with her cleanses and goop-dom and unsolicited pregnancy advice. I am neither here nor there. I mean, she seems annoying and all but I’d take her any day over, say, Renée Zellweger (loathe her!) or Meredith from Grey’s Anatomy whose real name I can’t even be bothered to look up. (Okay, fine, I just did – it’s Ellen Pompeo.)

Anyway, Gwynnie appears on the March 2012 issue of Harper’s Bazaar, and people are already vomiting over the accompanying interview, in which she dishes on everything from creating a happy home life to Botox. One thing Gwyneth mentions, somewhat in passing, is that she bathes with her children, 7-year-old Apple and 5-year-old Moses.

“We all get into the tub together,” she tells the mag.

While certain parts of the interview surprised me – like the fact that she acts a bit like a 1950s housewife and thinks that we should, too – I don’t find this whole bathing-with-kids thing even remotely controversial. And I’m surprised that many people do, as evidenced in the comments section of a slew of of websites. These haters think it’s inappropriate that she’d hop into the tub with her school-aged children. They call it creepy and wrong.

Um, excuse me, but when did nudity become such a big deal? These are her children we’re talking about! And most experts would agree that private parts only need be private one the kids hit puberty. (Others, like Dr. Sears, thinks it should happen in kindergarten.) But I think most would agree that we should be following our kids’ lead and doing what feels right to us. I don’t think there’s a definitive answer when it comes to nudity, and I think anyone bashing Gwyneth for her family bath routine should get over it. (Never thought I’d be defending Gwyneth Paltrow, but here I am.)

What do you think? At what age did you stop bathing/showering with your kids – and was it a conscious decision or just something that happened naturally?

(Photo: harpersbazaar.com)

 

 

Share This Post:
Related Topics: Stuff • • •
  • Rockii

    Seriously? I was never one to bathe with my children, my mother did with my sister and me, but I never did with them. It’s not that I was embarrassed by nudity or anything, but bath time is MY time. More importantly, at about 7 or so a children should be on their way to learning how to properly clean themselves. I let my daughters clean themselves, and I do a once over to make sure that they did it right. If she does do this however, who’s to judge I just don’t think say a 7 and a 5 year old male or female should be bathing together, but that’s just me.

    • hannah

      there is a massive difference between bathing together and bathing each other. Once a child is capable of cleaning themselves (I reckon same ish sort of time as toilet trained) then thats what they do. Doesn’t preclude bathing WITH them, at all.

      Feel obliged to keep pointing this out. Yes, I enjoy bathtime on my own, and with my husband, in a totally different way to enjoying it with my kids. I will only stop bathing with them when they stop asking me to. Is this because I am from Uk, that I am not so hung up about this? Genuine question…..

  • RighttoWorkMom

    I think it’s disgusting. Seven year-olds and five year-olds should not be bathing together. Brothers and sisters should not be bathing together. Mothers should not be bathing with their sons.

    I can’t imagine anyone acting so flippantly about the idea of a father bathing with his seven year-old daughter.

    • h

      Yeah – and all these disgusting moms who let their sons suck on their nipples for the first months of their lives! That’s gross! Wait…..

    • RighttoWorkMom

      Yeah, because feeding an infant – that’s the same thing. Wait . . . .

    • hannah

      Your comment makes me so very sad. I can only assume its “disgusting” because you feel there is a sexual element to it. Awful. Are you sexually attracted to YOUR children? I would assume, again, NOT. So, therefore, how it is wrong? How better to encourage body acceptance with them than to be comfortable about nudity? They get in the bath together, I am sure they wash THEMSELVES, as my 4 and 3 year old do when we all share the bath.

      Parent does not = paedophile……

    • RighttoWorkMom

      I didn’t say anything about pedophiles. However, I don’t think it’s appropriate for a parent to bathe with an opposite gendered child, and I don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone to bathe with a 7 year-old. I don’t care who is washing who. We are talking about wet, naked bodies of both genders being next to each other. Disgusting.

      Be sad if you want, but would you honestly feel the same way if this were a father bathing with his seven year-old daughter?

    • Jen

      Brothers and sisters should not be bathing with each other? What kind of f’ed up relationship did you have with your siblings Righttowork?

    • True

      I know Jen. It makes you wonder..

    • hannah

      I have no issues whatsoever with a father bathing WITH his 7, 8 or even 9 yer old daughter. We are talking about bathing WITH. Not touching up, ffs. Plus, its actually no one esles business but their own. Hopefully it will ensure she is comfortable and prepared for what males bodies look like when she grows up and won’t end up repressed and believing human bodies bathing next to each other is disgusting……..
      I honestly think your mind is a bit twisted. How is it disgusting? Human bodies are just bodies. it is ABnormal to make out its disgusting.

    • h

      Actually – You are implying it’s the same thing, RighttoWorkMom. Cleaning your child, teaching them healthy attitudes about nudity, cleanliness, their bodies, anything else you innocently learn at bath time – that is also very important – just as feeding is. It’s interesting – you’ll find in many psychology studies that those most often involved in rapes, incest, pedophilia, etc. were taught – well – that something as natural as parents bathing together is “disgusting.” You do know there are still villages in the world where the people walk around next-to-naked all their lives? Are those people “disgusting?” We are a prude country and we’ve developed an standard that that a naked body = sex. It’s sad. It’s even more sad to teach our children that lesson over and over again.

  • Melinas

    I’m more annoyed with how pretentious Gwyneth is about raising children. Her goop newsletter thing is so condescending. I would like to see her raise her children as a single mom on a tight budget and see how she likes it.

  • Fabel

    They’re not pubescent at 5 and 7, so I don’t see how it’s a big deal– people in this country are so squeamish about nudity.

    On another subject, I agree with you SO MUCH about Renèe Zellweger and Meredith from Grey’s Anatomy, seriously. I don’t know what it is, but I also can’t stand either of them.

    • RighttoWorkMom

      What’s wrong with Ellen Pompeo and Renee Zellweger?

  • nou

    Who cares. As you said, these are her children, if she wants to bathe with them, whatever. It is a little weird that her son bathes with them, but that’s just MY opinion. I have a 5 year old that I sometimes shower with when I just want to give her a quick wash. She sees me naked often, but that doesn’t bother me, nor do I let it because I am her mother. The day when she tells me that its embarrassing to see me naked then I’ll do something about it, but until then, her seeing me naked is just my way if showing her that a woman’s body isn’t something to be ashamed of, no matter how many stretch marks you’ve got going. ;)

    As for when you should stop bathing with your kids… well, I only have a girl, so I’d say until she no longer feels comfortable showering with me or whatever. For a boy… I couldn’t say. 5 years old is pushing it for a boy/mom. But then again, growing up in my culture, boys had to bathe with their moms and sisters until they were old enough to wash themselves.

  • lmnop

    if she were a man, and were bathing with her 7 yr old daughter people would be saying oh how wrong it is. If a parent baths with a child of the same sex, there is nothing wrong with that…but at 7 yr old I think it’s in appropriate that any parent would bath with a child of the opposite sex! And for the record, i am a HUGE Gwyneth fan!

  • Avodah

    Ummm, Shawna. I’m not an expert, but I don’t think children or parents need to wait until puberty to learn that private parts are private or develop a healthy sense of modesty.

    For example, a 2 year old girl, toddling around in nothing but a diaper, in the heat of summer is (usually) considered a-ok by most people. Should an 8 or 9 year old girl wear nothing but underwear around the house or the yard in the summer?

    I don’t think Gwyneth, or anyone on this message board, is a pedophile. However, I would gently suggest that you, Shawna, think a littler bit harder about when children should consider private parts private.

    • Hannah (Bemused beyond belief)

      yes. what the hell is wrong with you? at 8, underwear is no different from a swimming costume. Who are you trying to sexualise children so young?!?
      My children know full well that their genitals are their own to clean, use, whatever. Noone touches them except themselves, not even me, now they are toilet trained. They know to tell me, or Daddy,or grandma etc, if someone touches them. They are 3 and 4. How did I teach them this? By bathing with them and SETTING THEM TE EXAMPLE. “PLease don’t touch Mummy there, that is mine to touch, same with you”(Oh, and grow up, yes I said genitals. Not bloody “private parts”)
      after puberty, possibly different.

  • Pingback: Brad Pitt, You're Not A Bad Dad For Feeding Your Kids Coke

  • Kacie

    My kids, a boy and a girl, bathe together. I also sometimes bathe with my daughter and my fiance with out son; we’d even mix it up if it someone wouldn’t be grounds for freaks at preschool like the people above thinking it is pedophilia. They follow us into the bathroom all the time too, big deal: it’s how we managed to potty train them.

  • CatFace

    It’s mainly America that feels this way.
    There are many other countries where bathing with kids is fine and dandy, because they’re kids, and it’s not sexual.

    There are places with bath houses where everyone goes in and takes baths together.

  • Pingback: New Trend In Celeb Parents: 'I Want LGBTQ Kids!'

  • Pingback: Parenting Advice: Jessica Alba Is The New Gwyneth Paltrow

  • Another Steph

    I actually hate Gwenyth Paltrow with a burning passion but I think this is lovely. One of the very few things I’ve read about her that’s made me go, “Aw,” and not, “STFU!”

  • LeeLee

    i think the more important question for all of the supporters of bathing together is how freaking big are your bathtubs that you can get a full grown person and multiple kids in there?! jealous.

    personally though, i think it’s completely inappropriate for parents to be bathing with their kids…frankly by the age of 7 you should have learned how to bathe yourself.

  • Beth

    I agree whole heartedly with the comment from hannah!! And I am not from the UK. I just reacently stopped bathing with my 7 year old son who is 8 now. I never wanted him to feel that seeing me naked was something wrong or weird. I wanted him to have a healthy attitude about his own body as well. He learned to bathe himself when he was 3 or so, bathing with him after that was what happened naturally. I love taking HOT baths and love taking them alone too. That is how I always started out, but my son would hear me and would want to come in. Every family and every child is different, for us, it just naturally progressed into him not wanting to jump in anymore. He got older and I do believe he is just fine.

  • Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow & Oher Celebrity Moms Who Battled Postpartum Depression