• Tue, Dec 27 2011

‘My F@#king Parents Didn’t Get Me An iPad For Christmas!’

That’s what someone on Twitter said just hours after their parents showered them with Christmas gifts. You can see tons of other examples of the snottiness that parenting failures result in on this BuzzFeed listing of “People Who Didn’t Get What They Wanted For Christmas.” It’s not pretty.

I first got a taste of ungrateful children at Christmas many years ago when visiting some friends. Their kids were actually adorable for the days leading up to Christmas but when it came time to open Christmas gifts, it looked like a pride of lions tearing into a gazelle. They didn’t pause between ripping open gift after gift — missing key components of each package — and completely failed to thank anyone. I vowed I would not raise ungrateful children.

Now, this is easier — much easier — said than done. A few months ago, for instance, my unbelievably generous in-laws arrived with multiple suitcases full of goodies for our children. They unzipped them and told the girls to have at it, and they — the in-laws — squealed with delight and cheered our oldest on as she tore through the gifts without pausing. Now, it’s true that I grew up poor and the sight of a large suitcase packed to the brim with toys, trinkets, clothing and other stuff is something I’m not used to. But even if I were accustomed to such largesse, I’m pretty sure I would still be uncomfortable.

My response to the gift-devouring frenzy I was witness to still makes me laugh. I was so freaked out that I started saying “Her character! Her character!” As in, “I think you may be harming my children’s character right now please stop I beg of you and let’s bring things down a notch thank you very much.”

This year we are having Christmas alone and we’ve been able to institute house rules on gift opening. For one thing, we spread the gifts out throughout the 12 days of Christmas. For another, we only open one gift at a time and we appreciate each one before moving on to the next one. I ask our children to save any gift wrapping materials that are salvageable and to toss the trash immediately. We’re writing thank you cards as we go along. And if they’re not appreciative of something, we take it as a sign that maybe they need to go to bed. Last night one of our daughters, who claimed to want to open more gifts, started throwing a tantrum over a gift she didn’t like (a totally awesome pint-sized kimono from Grandma, I might add). So we called it a night.

Even though I grew up with parents who chose low-paying careers, we always had amazing Christmases with tons of gifts. But my mother told us stories that really made us appreciate how much we got. The first year her family moved from Missouri to Colorado, her dad didn’t have much money to spend on gifts. She got a slinky and an orange. And that’s it. And her little brother Russell accidentally broke the Slinky the same day.

Can you even imagine saying to a mother who had this experience anything approaching the Twitter-snottiness seen above? Ha! And again I say Ha!

I have no doubt that whatever else my children suffer from as we hit the teen years (and I’m already preparing for an epic payback for whatever I put my folks through), they would not be so foolish as to trash talk what they got for Christmas. Who raises these annoying ingrates?

Image via Thinkstock.

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  • ladycrim

    You know what I want from my mom this year? For her to be home from the hospital and healthy again. These whiny prats make me ill.

    • CW

      Praying it’s God’s will for your mom to have a speedy and complete recovery. {{{hugs}}}

    • Somnilee

      Sending you all my sympathies from England, as we were able to have my mum home from the hospital for a few hours on Christmas day so we could open gifts and have lunch together.

      The gifts really aren’t what matter, and some people totally overdid it this year – not as much as when I was a kid, but a certain aunt and uncle bought me so much just random stuff that every other present was from them, it kind of spoiled it a bit. Your materialistic purchases can’t fill the gap that’s left by having a sick family member, so while I’m grateful for everything I’ve been given, some things are more important than volume of gifts.

    • Horsecrazy

      My mum was in hospital in oktober. She nearly died because of complikations during the op. i hope yours has a great recovery, and gets well soon!!!!

    • ladycrim

      Unfortunately, Mom passed on January 19. My first thought was NOT about who would be getting her iPad.

  • Frances

    You know how to not raise spoiled brats? Don’t give them everything they freaking want! My kids get two or three nice things and that’s it. I talk to them about the less fortunate and I refuse to shield them from the harsh realities of the word. My kids are grateful for what they have because they realize how bad other people have it.

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  • Mada

    I was with you until I read:

    a totally awesome pint-sized kimono from Grandma, I might add

    One thing I have learned, just because I think it’s cool doesn’t mean that my child (esp. my 9 year old daughter) thinks it is. Kids are allowed not to like their presents.

    • Mollie Hemingway

      Sure. I learned a valuable lesson the year I bought this awesome cape for my 4-year-old niece and she just did not think it was as awesome as I did.

      But I raise my kids to be appreciative. As my niece was that year she was not enamored with the cape. Throwing a kimono to the ground and screaming “No! No! I hate this!” is not going to fly in our house.

  • Marie

    All I want for Christmas is for my mom to beat cancer. These kids are just too much.

  • Opal

    These little snots provide a good argument for instituting corporal punishment. They need to be shoved into the bad egg drop, and quick! I hope it’s a day that the incinerator is on.

  • WMDKitty

    Augh, damn lousy gimme-pigs! Who CARES if you didn’t get the latest bit of technology — what matters is that you have your loved ones!

  • Byron

    Here’s my perspective, one seemingly not found here, that of a spoiled child!

    I’m an only-child, my parents expected me to do (at least) 2 kids worth of work but at the same time spoiled me crazy. How these are compatible you ask, after all, doesn’t a spoiled kid just get anything he/she wants and what kids wants to work?

    Simple, you ask and you give and if you are given what you ask for you must give what you’re being asked to give. It’s simple free market systems really, people would name it bribery but I just call it fair trade. I grew up basically having everything I wanted and because I knew I could have it I never asked for anything crazy, just some toy which was big here or a videogame that a friend had. I guess that not being told “no” had a lot of things to do with it.

    As for appreciative feelings, that’s another thing. To put it simply, clothes are not toys or gifts, clothes are what you wear if it’s hot when you play with your toys and gifts.

    I still remember this one time where my aunt gave me a shirt for my birthday, I must have been younger than 10, it just has stuck with me out of the sheer level of disappointment I felt, I was old enough to not complain and feign appreciation but I’m pretty sure I never wore it once and if there was a twitter back in 1998 you bet your behind I’d have tweeted about it! Yep, you thought it’s all fun and games being spoiled crazy (I wouldn’t say I was a brat, but I was very very spoiled) but fact of the matter is, the whole world won’t spoil you like your parents do and that’s a hard realization that hits a spoiled child harder than a merely loved one.

    I will say one thing though, I can honestly say to my parents faces that I had everything I wanted growing up and that I never wanted for anything and the work ethic that they imbued in me has allowed me to be successful in life.

    • Leigha

      It does depend on the kid. I never minded getting clothes. The only present I remember being disappointed by was a notebook. Sure, it was cool-looking and I liked cool notebooks, but as a Christmas present? But as long as I liked the clothes themselves, I liked getting clothes for Christmas.

      As a fellow somewhat spoiled only child, I have to agree. (Although I think I had a normal amount of chores, aside from the fact that I didn’t know anyone else who had to do chores at all. Half the people I graduated with had never done laundry or dishes in their lives.) The realization that you are, in fact, spoiled, and that life isn’t like that, hits hard. And that’s from people who grew up with what they wanted but also with responsibilities. One can only imagine what it’s like for the spoiled and pampered.

  • nocomment

    I cried myself to sleep on Christmas day and stayed most ways secluded to myself. I was depressed and honestly wanted to die. I don’t have kids or anything else for that matter, I live by myself, a crappy go nowhere job, no gifts nor anything special like that.

    However, calling your mother to have your step-father pick up and telling you the “bad news” about your mother having passed away on Christmas day when all you wanted was to talk to her for a while and tell her Merry Christmas and “I love you” really kills the Christmas spirit in me. All I wanted was to talk to her that day. She died Dec 25th, 2011 at around 2:15 AM of a major stroke in her sleep. I was awake at midnight and dread not having called her then. :(

    All I wanted for Christmas was to talk to my momma and to have been able to visit her one last time. These kids make me sick.

  • Jem

    Wow, its my birthday next week, and I told my parents that I am okay with getting nothing. Appreciate what you have, or you can’t have anything at all. My brother keeps asking for new phones, and I am glad for the phone I have had for many,many years. Why don’t kids just realize that it is rude, and hurts feelings when you don’t accept a present. It doesn’t even matter what it is, if you even get anything! This is coming from a 12 year old! People should not be so needy!

  • Jem

    There are kids in the world with nothing!!!!