• Sun, Sep 25 2011

Mommyish Poll: Are Baby Showers Appropriate After Your First Pregnancy?

Just in case you don’t read celebrity gossip, let me share that Tori Spelling is pregnant with her third child. According to Us Magazine, the starlet recently had a baby shower to welcome her newest little one. Now maybe I’m behind the times, but is it normal to have a baby shower after your first pregnancy? I had always believed that showers were strictly a first-time occasion, but lately, I feel like they are becoming more frequent.

I’m not asking because I want to shame those who had additional showers. I’m asking because I would like to throw one for a close friend of mine who is pregnant with her second child. My friend had her first daughter almost six years ago. By now, the safety regulations alone would necessitate that she buy a whole new barrage of pack-n-plays, bouncy seats and bottles. Because I know that I’m not the only one who loves and cares for this family, I’m pretty sure that a close group of us would like to get together and help out our friends as they prepare for their family’s newest addition. So yea, I’m thinking about throwing them a shower. I mean, Tori is doing it for her third!

Our other option seems to be a “Welcome Baby” party after the little one is born. Apparently, these have become a popular way to honor the new second-time mom without breaking the rules surrounding baby showers and when they are appropriate. While I can appreciate anything that works so hard to circumvent tradition and still accomplish its goals, this still means that families need to buy the bulk of the new baby gear themsevles. Then their friends can contribute clothes and toys, which in reality, is the best part about baby shopping anyways.

Or maybe I’m just a softy who loves giving presents? That’s actually true, I really enjoy buying gifts for people. But not everyone has the time or resources to attend a baby shower everytime a close friend gets knocked-up again. I tend to have a very small, tight-knit group of female friends. If I had dozens of ladies wanting me to come to second and third baby showers, I might see things a little differently.

So dear readers, I need your help in deciding how I feel about additional baby showers. Take the survey and then let me know in the comments if you have any personal experience that make you for or against second and third showers.

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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  • Penelope

    I don’t think 2nd or 3rd baby showers need all the extravagance of the first one, but it’s a great way to support an expectant mom and celebrate a baby on the way…

    If you’re thinking of throwing one for your friend, I’d say go for it. If you’re worried about the etiquette behind it, maybe find a way to say in the invites that gifts are not expected, but if you’d like to buy something, here’s a list of some things the new mom might need (like bouncy seats, bottles, etc.). Then let your guests decide what they feel is appropriate.

  • Lori B

    The women that my mother worked with throw “Baby Sprinkles” for their daughters when they were pregnant with a second or third child. It was a smaller party with usually only a few close friends and smaller gifts. It always seemed appropriate from what she told me about it. I think you could throw your friend a ‘sprinkle.’ The invitees would probably think it was a cute play on words and it really wouldn’t buck the tradition. My next question would be, should your friend register for gifts? On the one hand, if there are particular items that are out of date due to changes in the safety regs, it would be worth it to let people know what she needs. On the other hand, it could appear to be presumptious.

    • Leigha

      One option in that situation would be to talk to, say, the baby’s grandparents or aunts and uncles (who are family and thus have a vested interest and are much less likely, in general, to be offended by the request) that you are in need of certain things, or to give the person who’s throwing the party a list so they can give people suggestions based on who they are and how close they are. Since it’s her giving the suggestions, it seems less presumptuous even though they’re still requests, and she can make sure only the people closest to the mother-to-be are informed of the need for larger items (or people can go in together on things, which is always a nice idea).

  • xobolaji

    every child is a unique celebration and a gift, so bring it on! it doesn’t have to be an elaborate affair just something to acknowledge the occasion.

    i didn’t have a shower for my second child, and in hindsight i do think i would have wanted that for her.