• Tue, Jul 12 2011

Boys Need The Sex Talk Too

For those parents brave enough to do the birds and the bees conversation with their kids, it seems like there is more an incentive when it comes to girls. Parents wringing their hands over unintended pregnancy, potential sexual assault, or their daughter perhaps finding herself ill-informed are rightfully worrisome possibilities. And so, faced with the chance of her following false information and winding up in some awful circumstances, many parents shelve their embarrassment and use words like “condoms,” “birth control,” and “pregnancy” with their daughters so that they can sleep a little better a night. But some findings by Guttmacher reveal that parents are much more likely to discuss these options with their daughters than their sons, leaving boys wide open for their own collection of sexual missteps.

Guttmacher also found that in addition to birth control options, parents were more likely to discuss “how to say no to sex” with their daughters. This type of instruction should be standard regardless of the gender of the child. After all, if girls are taught how to decline sexual offers, boys should be instructed how to properly interpret them as well as how to say no themselves. By teaching boys to pay attention to what a young lady says, as opposed to what she is wearing, how she behaves, or what her body languages suggests, we raise a more thoughtful, considerate generation of young respectful men.

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  • Leigha

    I think the most important thing to teach boys is that, contrary to popular belief, they do NOT have to have sex when the opportunity presents itself. They need to learn that they, too, have the right to say no, and they need to understand the importance of deciding if they’re ready to have sex or not.

    Since we as a society still view men as “only wanting one thing” and girls as the “gatekeepers” of sex, it’s important that teens know that girls are allowed to want sex, and guys are perfectly allowed not to.

    On a related note, my health textbook had a section at the end which discussed (among other things) rape prevention, and it had a separate section for girls and guys, and all it said for guys was “listen to a girl if she says no” type things. Guys can be raped too, but we apparently don’t feel the need to tell them that, or what they can do about it, despite the fact that (largely BECAUSE of that) they tend to suffer more because they have deeper guilt and shame, and feel more alone. This is why most male rape victims never tell anyone (many women don’t, of course, but FAR more than men do).