Embarrassing Mom Week: ‘My Mommy Doesn’t Have Two Butts’

When my now five-year-old was  four, we were in a public restroom that was brimming full.  I needed to use the restroom, so of course he had to go in with me.  As I am doing my business trying to balance without touching the toilet seat, plus trying to keep myself covered so that i do not have to have a four-year-old staring at my lady bits, my little boy loudly asks:

“Mommy, why do you have two butts? One is fuzzy and the other isn’t.  Do all mommies have two butts?”

I feel my face start to blush and I start hearing loud snickering.  I literally wanted to die.  I tell my four-year-old that I only have one bottom and that unlike him who has a penis, I have what is called a “vagina.”  So I finish my business and leave the stall, unfortunately.  The entire bathroom is still filled and giggling. I could have died, but of course the embarrassment gets better! We go to finish our shopping and my little boy, now begins saying very loudly:

“MY MOMMY DOESN’T HAVE TWO BUTTS SHE HAS ONE, AND A VAGINA!!!!”

The looks I was getting.  I thought the little old lady in front of me was going to cause my hair to catch on fire with the look she gave me.

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