What To Expect When You’re Expecting: A Push Present, Of Course!

Parenthood is  a joint responsibility in most households. But for couples who bring a child into this world the old-fashioned way, it’s the mother who bears the brunt of the work. While preggers, we’re expected to give up alcohol, cigarettes and copious amount of caffeine. It’s like a forced detox with no immediate benefits aside from, oh, weight gain, nausea and inflatable boobs. Then we push a human life out of our vaginas (or have it removed via c-section) and, if breast milk is on the menu, we’re suddenly this child’s personal, 24-hour buffet station.

It’s all a freakin’ mind-blowing miracle. And a lot of hard work.

Which is why, at the end of the day, I’m a big proponent of push presents (a fancy gift given to a mother by the father of a newborn baby). It’s obnoxious, yes, and a bit silly and Hallmark-ish. But who cares? We deserve it!

Certainly Rodger Berman would agree. The big-hearted hubby of celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe gave her a little something special to celebrate the recent arrival of their baby boy, Skyler Morrison – a 10-carat cushion-cut diamond ring by jeweler Neil Lane. (It reportedly cost him $250,000.)

While I’m not suggesting that all new dads dish up that kind of dough, it’s the thought that counts. A 2007 survey by BabyCenter.com of more than 30,000 respondents found that 38 percent of new moms received a push present and 55 percent of pregnant women wanted one. About 40 percent of both groups said the baby itself was present enough and did not wish an additional reward.

Look, having a baby is a blessing. It is truly a gift. And if a couple can’t see that, well, there has to be something wrong with them. But a bit of bling added to the equation never hurt anybody.

(Photo: Celebritybabies.people.com)

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    • melissa

      yes. why isn’t this a given? after being stretched out or CUT OPEN, uh, something sparkly to distract seems obvious, no?
      my darling husband got me a spa certificate – sweet, but it wasn’t exactly convenient to go with an infant nursing every few hours.
      nice gesture, but i’m forwarding him this post for next time.

    • jcb1628

      I understand the sentiment but personally I would rather have a expensive piece of baby gear I’ve been coveting that I just couldn’t justify just going out and purchasing! But then again I’ve never been much for jewelry or big diamonds. Argington Bam nursery is on the top of my list!!!

    • Nichole

      This just seems really, really greedy and selfish to me. An overpriced rock is simply for vanity. A gift you can actually USE, not just show off, seems much more appropriate, it at all. I mean, really it was a CHOICE to have a baby in the first place, so why would women try to get a super expensive gift out of it? They should be saving the money for raising the baby. If having a baby was an inevitability when you are in a relationship, then I could see getting a gift because it’s simply not fair for something to happen to ONLY the women. But this is incredibly far from reality. If you choose to do something, do not expect a reward for doing it!

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    • Abby

      Push present. Though the name is a bit silly, I do agree with the idea. Here’s the reason:
      People are getting the wrong idea about the tradition. The tradition is designed to give the mother something that she will have for the rest of her life that commemorates her experience of bringing a new life into the world. The actual gift itself should be symbolic of an endless love and desire for protection of the mother and child throughout their lives. It’s deep, emotional, and beautiful. That being said, new shoes would not fall into the category of a “perfect push present”, and it is not a selfish act but rather a self-LESS act of kindness and joy. Juno Lucina just launched a whole line of beautiful push gifts for new mothers (www.jlucina.com). That is what the perfect push gift looks like.

      • AlyssaMoh

        “The tradition is designed to give the mother something that she will have for the rest of her life that commemorates her experience of bringing a new life into the world.”

        Um… isn’t that supposed to be the child?

    • Psych Student

      A different perspective: As a woman with a wife, it’s a bit different, this whole baby making thing. My wife can’t get pregnant (no uterus) so I’ll be the one carrying the babies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited to get to do so, but I remind her that it’s ok for her to be sad, jealous, and experience a since of loss when it really hits home for her that she can’t feel the baby grow and push it out. I’ve also promised to make her give up all the things I have to (soft cheese will be the most missed), flick her in the ribs/kidneys when the baby kicks me, make her pee ever 20 minutes with me, and get one of those fake pregnant sand bag bellies to lay on her chest at night – all so she won’t feel left out. Aren’t I a great wife! (/sarcasm). Ok, so I’m not going to make her give up food or caffine, but we are going to get a preggy suit for her so we can go out and look like adorable preggy lesbians together. But really, when your partner truly wishes that she/he could take a turn at carrying and pushing out a baby, does the baby pusher really need an added bonus? *side note* this is all coming from a very idealized picture of pregnancy and birth from someone who has never been pregnant, doesn’t have many friends with kids, and is just kind naiive to such things, so please forgive any insult I may have thrown, thanks! :)

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